Chicago without the Bears, eh?
Like a giant bean without a reflection.
A river without a boat.
A blues man without a guitar.
A corner bar without a stool.
A museum without a soul.
Can it really happen — the Bears, a founding NFL franchise, a team that has played in the city for over 100 years, as much a part of the lakefront as frozen breath, as vital to our sports scene as any two other teams put together, picking up their flag and planting it across city and state lines in Hammond, Indiana?
Yeah, it can happen. It will, if the Bears’ statement Friday that they are “advancing” their stadium development project in Hammond was as stone-cold serious as it was designed to sound.
“We believe a world-class stadium project in Hammond will transform the region, connecting Northwest Indiana to the South Side of Chicago through the Loop and across neighborhoods and suburbs stretching north of the city,” it read. “It will bring Chicagoland together and deliver new opportunities to its residents and business.”
Or maybe that was just one last, really loud huff, puff and bluff from chairman George McCaskey and president/CEO Kevin Warren, whose names were on the statement. One can rather easily imagine the pair of them bandying about words and phrases in preparation for it, knowing the unwelcome jolt it would give their fans, the sentimental McCaskey feeling reservation in his gut, the stylish Warren dabbing at his furrowed brow with one of his ever-present pocket squares.
Arlington Heights, where the Bears already have spent a fortune, has to still be in play. Perhaps Chicago — kind of a big deal of a city, some might say — will have another go at it, too.
The Bears aren’t “shufflin’ ” off to Hammond yet, to borrow from the soundtrack of their only Super Bowl championship season, in 1985.
But they are blowin’ our minds like they knew they would.
And how does the team’s fight song go?
“Bear down, Chicago Bears! Make every play clear the way for victory!”
But Bears bigwigs have done anything but make every move count on the new-stadium front. They put the cart before the horse in Arlington Heights. They’ve played politics klutzily at every level. They’ve comported themselves like a team without a coherent game plan.
“You’re the pride and joy of Illinois! Chicago Bears, bear down!”
Guess they’re going to need a new lyricist.
It’s difficult to express in erudite terms how wrong it is for the Bears to not play in Chicago, or at least in Illinois, but here goes: Butkus. Payton. Ditka. Broad shoulders. Au jus stains. The letter “C.” Urlacher. Mongo. Mustard stains. Tradition, dammit.
See? Erudite.
Really, it just feels wrong.
Forget that it has been done elsewhere, the Giants and Jets playing in New Jersey, the Commanders playing in Maryland, the 49ers and Cowboys playing long, trafficky drives from San Francisco and Dallas, respectively. It’s nothing new or unusual in pro sports for organizations to seek to build and play wherever it’s in their best financial interests, which, of course, is why the Bears discovered Hammond at all.
But Chicago isn’t every other place, or any other place. Chicago is filled with sports fans who understand some relationships were meant to be inextricable.
Forty-plus years ago, the Bears’ “Shufflin’ Crew” sang, “Nobody’s messin’ in our neighborhood.”
They had no idea.
Walter Payton rapped, “We’re not doin’ this because we’re greedy.”
The Bears today are doing this because they’re greedy. As is the next billion-dollar business, of course, but that doesn’t make it any more charming or palatable to the average person.
Are Bears fans not put upon enough in today’s world? Inflation, housing, healthcare, gas prices, college, wars, hatefulness. They gotta suck an egg thanks to their football team, too? For a lot of them, the Bears leaving the state won’t sit right one bit. Not at first. Not for a long time. Maybe never.
There’s nothing terrible about Hammond, the only place in Northwest Indiana that actually borders Chicago. Cross into Hammond and what do you find? Bears fans. Our kind. Us. Most of us are well aware of it.
Still, if the Bears go there, it’ll be as jarring as a name change.
The Hammond Eggs, anyone?
Bear down and suck on that nonsense.