Just a few weeks ago, royal historian Tessa Dunlop was crying to Us Weekly about how the Duchess of Sussex needs to “tread lightly” while the Princess of Wales is dealing with cancer. Dunlop basically said that the Sussexes need to act compassionate and stay undercover, in case they invite comparisons to a certain lazy egg and his photo-manipulating wife. Nevermind that the “tread lightly” standard wasn’t used on Kate’s own family members, who were off on beach vacations and ski holidays. Nevermind dodgy Gary Goldsmith’s tacky displays on a reality show in the UK. No, all of that was fine – but Meghan’s strawberry jam might harm Kate’s recovery! In any case, Dunlop is back in time to cry about the Sussexes’ glorious polo weekend in Flordia:
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s ‘sun-drenched’ polo exploits proved ‘bittersweet’ for their royal relatives back in the UK, an expert has claimed. According to royal historian and expert Dr Tessa Dunlop, the appearance seemed worlds away from the royals back home.
She told the Mirror: “Is it a Jilly Cooper novel? Or perhaps a Hollywood film? No, it’s the Sussexes providing real-life drama in the only way American ‘royalty’ can – on and off the Polo pitch. According to his Argentinian rival (and friend) Nacho Figueras, ‘Harry is a very good rider’. And sure enough Haz scored the opening goal at the weekend’s charity fundraiser in Wellington. He shone off the pitch too, in white slacks and a crisp blue shirt, clinching the trophy for his team Royal Salute Sentebale.”
“The choreography was exquisite and we all know why. Meghan was in charge. Sparkling in a white halter neck (a clever spin on one-time ropes of royal pearls), the Duchess was unafraid to take matters in hand, commandeering the Sentebale Polo Cup photo-ops with a deft flick of the wrist. Here is a woman comfortable both in front and behind the camera. Naysayers groaned at Meghan’s presumptive style. But not Netflix, who has just signed a slate of new productions with Archewell Productions, including one focused on polo – the sport of kings. In Harry and Meghan’s world, a flick of the wrist, and anything is possible. Including true love. Irrespective of the inevitable side-sniping, the Sussexes were on dazzling form at the weekend. Hot Harry stole the show and his wife looked like the cat who got the cream. But the biggest winner is America.”
“Waterlogged Britain may well take umbrage. After all, we were (courtesy of our imperial exploits) the first European country to play polo, and subsequently, the royals made it their own. Harry comes from a fine line of polo players: Philip took up the sport in Malta, and Charles followed suit as the playboy prince.”
And Tessa added that thanks to Netflix, the appearance has allowed the Sussexes to raise money as well as make cash. She added: “So yes, there was something a little bittersweet about the Sussexes’ sun-drench exploits this weekend. Just as our own beleaguered royals are forced to go to ground with a myriad of health problems, Harry and Meghan dazzle in untouchable designer whites, parading their exquisite pedigree Stateside. Who else could so seamlessly pivot from a panel on Africa to the polo pitch in 24 hours? Thanks to Netflix, the Sussexes have squared the circle of raising money and making money all at the same time. Like it or not, Prince Haz has still got it. And if Meghan has anything to do with it, this is just the beginning.”
“There was something a little bittersweet about the Sussexes’ sun-drench exploits this weekend…” Royal historians and royal experts are going to need IV bags full of copium. We could tell in real time, as the polo photos and videos came out, that it was another big win for Harry and Meghan. We saw the derangement happen in real time, as haters pretended to be mad about Meghan’s heels or her dress or her jewelry or how she asked the Sentebale CEO to stand next to her. All of that hate to deflect from the fact that the Sussexes won and the Windsors lost. The British media lost. The royal historians lost. The Sussexes are happy, healthy, wealthy and free.
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.