DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I went to a high-end store wearing a simple dress, and I noticed that the sales lady did not seem eager to assist me.
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Despite politely requesting help, I was largely ignored while other customers who were dressed in more extravagant clothing were approached immediately.
This experience made me feel like I was being judged based on my appearance rather than being treated equally as a customer. It felt like a clear display of inequality and discrimination.
It is not fair to prioritize certain customers over others based on their appearance.
— Not Fair Treatment
DEAR NOT FAIR TREATMENT: I learned years ago not to do business with people who do not respect me. So, for starters, you should not shop at that store anymore.
But that’s not enough. That salesperson needs to be made aware of the impact of her bad behavior. I recommend that you speak to the manager of the store and lodge a formal complaint.
Be brave and share exactly what happened and how it made you feel. Salespeople are supposed to be attentive to all customers. This woman should be reprimanded for her discriminatory behavior.
This is your “Pretty Woman” moment — take it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a new job at a finance firm one month ago, and I already want to quit.
This was my dream job, but the atmosphere at the office is incredibly toxic. My colleagues and even my boss appear miserable and often treat me rudely.
The negativity is making it difficult for me to enjoy my work, and I’m questioning whether this is the right place for me. I am torn between sticking it out and hoping things improve or cutting my losses and finding a more positive work environment.
I’m afraid the negativity will start affecting my mental well-being and job performance.
Do you have any advice on how to handle a challenging workplace, and when is the right time to consider leaving a job that is making you unhappy?
— Toxic Workplace
DEAR TOXIC WORKPLACE: Take a breath and assess the situation before you act.
Ask yourself a few questions: Do you want to continue to work in finance? If so, what can you learn in this environment that you can take with you when you leave? That can include positive lessons and things to avoid.
Know that quitting a job after a month does not look good on your résumé, so you should think long and hard about it before making that move.
I recommend looking for opportunities in this company that can help you to shine as you support others. Choose to see the good in your co-workers and manager, and ask them for things to do that will lessen the load. Often in high-stress industries like finance, people are so attached to the bottom line that they can forget about the human side of the job. Perhaps you can bring kindness into the office each day.
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At the same time, create an exit strategy. Give yourself a one-year deadline to learn and leave.
All the while, you can meet people in your industry by going to industry events. Network to help yourself find a better fit. As people get to know you, you may discover the perfect environment.
Do not complain about your workplace when you meet others. Instead, talk up the career that you are working to build.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.