DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are people oblivious, uninformed, narcissistic or just plain rude when it comes to sports etiquette? From the golf course to the gym, these outings are becoming less enjoyable.
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Slow players on the golf course — whether it’s a large group, or a small group playing multiple balls per person — won’t let others play through, even upon request.
Or someone will be just sitting at a gym machine, playing on her phone, while a queue forms. When I ask if I can please use the machine, she’ll reply, “I have two more sets,” then look back at her phone.
I am sure others have experienced worse when it comes to poor sports etiquette. Even complaining to management changes nothing.
GENTLE READER: And to think that sports used to be considered an etiquette training ground.
Yes, really. Think of the elements of etiquette that are enforced in sports: dress codes, respect for authority, graciousness in winning or in losing, penalties for breaking rules, etc.
Haven’t seen much of that on the playing fields lately? Or in the stands? Alas, no. Rather than be the exemplar of good sportsmanship, the sports world, at both professional and personal levels, has become more like the rest of society, as you have noticed.
Competition is more satisfying when it is against opponents one respects. Miss Manners would hope that the parents of young athletes, and the managers of teams and of gymnasiums, would find it in their interest to revive the old standards and bar mean-spirited behavior.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are planning to sell our house and move into an apartment. The timing is tricky, in that we are hoping to sell our house before the apartment is completed.
A close friend asked me what we would do if our house didn’t sell. I told her we preferred to be optimistic.
She then proceeded to tell me about a friend of hers who is trying to sell her house but had four offers fall through.
I thought her question and the story she volunteered were both out of line. How should I reply if she keeps on asking these questions?
GENTLE READER: “Well, I suppose if we can’t sell the house in time, we would have to give up the apartment. We would still keep the house on the market, though, and meanwhile, I thought we would move in with you! It is so good to know that we can always fall back on the kindness of our friends.”
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should a former president of the United States be addressed?
It would seem to me there is only one president at a time; therefore, the title should not accompany anyone out of office.
GENTLE READER: You are correct. Almost nobody else is, including former presidents.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.