Whenever the Duke and Duchess of Sussex go anywhere or do anything, the carnival of clowns immediately melts down and throws everything against the wall to convince their readers that Harry and Meghan are flops, no one likes them, people are going to boo them, they always come in last on every popularity poll, we swear! And then Harry and Meghan show up somewhere and people love them and people get so excited to see them and it’s clear that they both have so much charisma. The royalist agitprop usually gets blown up in a matter of hours after H&M arrive. It keeps happening – think about the nonsense happening before Harry’s visit to England last September, and his trip to Ukraine. Harry’s trips were so successful, his brother basically had a nervous breakdown. The Sussexes’ visits to Colombia, Nigeria, Germany, Canada, the Netherlands and now Australia all followed this exact same pattern as well. For the Sussexes’ Oz trip, it does seem like the pattern has moved very quickly to “gosh, Britain really misses the Sussexes.” From the Telegraph’s “Harry and Meghan’s Australia tour shows what the Royal family is missing.”
There was talk of Tim Tams and koalas, large crowds, flowers and selfies. I watched as the Duchess of Sussex hugged sick children, declared a hospital garden “serene”, and was laden with handmade drawings and knitted flowers. Prince Harry, meanwhile, agonised over a clay model of a “wingless kookaburra” and joked that he might struggle to get the sweet-smelling bark of a gumtree back home through customs. In another life, this could have been their second official royal tour Down Under. Instead, here they are, described as “B-grade reality TV stars” intent on using their royal titles to make money quickly.
It was fascinating to see the polarising couple in action as they embarked on what has proved – for many – a hugely controversial four-day tour of Australia. The Duke and Duchess find themselves increasingly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Having left the UK to seek financial independence, and with no more money flowing from the King’s finances, they must find a way to pay the mortgage and those infamously hefty private security bills. But when they try to combine business deals with charitable work that resembles the very royal duties they were so desperate to leave behind, the public pushes back.
Their whistle-stop tour of Australia was preceded by a string of negative opinion pieces and editorials in the local press, describing the couple as “grifters” who were using the country “like an ATM”. Television anchors on the breakfast shows repeatedly asked whether anyone was actually interested in the visit, while politicians railed against the police resources ploughed into the visit, funded by the taxpayer.
On the ground, as is often the way with royal jobs, it was a remarkably different story. The couple arrived at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne to as big a crowd as I have ever seen on such an engagement. The young patients, staff and families clamoured to get a glimpse of the VIP visitors as they shook hands, hugged and waved their way through the corridors in the course of 45 minutes.
The women the Duchess met later in a refuge were chuffed to see her, as were the veterans they spent time with after that. The Duke was in his element: relaxed and charming. This is, of course, the job he was raised to do. The Duchess is pretty good at it too, though perhaps more noticeably aware of the cameras and the eyes on her every move.
What does Buckingham Palace make of such high-profile royal gallivanting? There will be the odd chuckle and eye roll, no doubt, but you can bet they are watching closely nonetheless.
Could the Duke and Duchess have been an asset to the Royal family? Undoubtedly, yes, as this tour so far seems to indicate. A shame, then, that they squandered so much goodwill by trashing them so destructively.
It was impossible to tell whether the crowd gathered on the street outside the veterans’ museum might be there to boo and jeer or clamour for selfies. As the doors opened and the couple came back out on to the pavement, there were only more cheers. Rather than shouting a question about the cost to the taxpayer, a local reporter simply wanted to know what message the Duke might have for veterans. So far so good. The reception on day one could not have been more positive. Does it reflect the national mood? Only time will tell.
“Could the Duke and Duchess have been an asset to the Royal family? Undoubtedly, yes, as this tour so far seems to indicate. A shame, then, that they squandered so much goodwill by trashing them so destructively.” Who are “they” and “them” in that sentence? It’s funny, isn’t it? Because one could make (and one has made) the argument that the Windsors squandered the goodwill the Sussexes would have generated when the Windsors trashed the Sussexes to the point where Harry and Meghan felt it necessary to leave that salt-and-bile environment. Who squandered what? What was the original sin of this situation?
Reflecting back on how everything changed for Harry and Meghan immediately following their last successful Australian tour, perhaps this is a moment for reflection from the left-behinds. Why did THEY f–k it all up? Just so they could have the UK all to themselves, and lazily do half-assed, poorly attended events a couple of times a month, appearances which garner none of the excitement or enjoyment on display in Australia right now? This isn’t a come-to-Jesus moment for the Sussexes, who are still thriving, popular, in-demand and hard-working. This is yet another moment when the left-behinds look like the dumbest and most racist jackasses in the world. They would rather shoot themselves in the d–k than NOT smear Harry’s wife.
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Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.
