This whole story is asinine but I’ve seen people on “both sides” amplifying it, so we might as well get into it. Paul Burrell was Princess Diana’s butler and friend. After Diana’s death, he was accused of stealing Diana’s belongings and he was about to be put on trial, but then Queen Elizabeth II intervened at the last minute and told prosecutors that she recalled telling Burrell years before that he could and should keep some of Diana’s things for safekeeping. Since then, Burrell has fancied himself some kind of royal expert, and he regularly gives quotes to various media outlets about the royal stories of the day. In recent years, he’s taken a hard anti-Sussex bent, because I guess that’s what pays. Burrell’s recent interview has the feel of Burrell being issued certain talking points and just sort of mindlessly reciting them. This is all having to do with the British media’s biggest fear/desire for Meghan to write her own memoir, something which there is literally no indication she will ever do.
Meghan’s nonexistent memoir: “I am waiting for Meghan to release her own memoir,” Paul Burrell exclusively told The Post. “[She] is inevitably going to write her side of the story because of how absent she was from ‘Spare,’ and that is because she is penning her memoir and telling it from a woman’s perspective.”
Meghan’s story: Burrell warned that the royal family should “watch out” for the “explosion” that the “Suits” alum’s rumored book could cause. There’s “going to be another bomb in the House of Windsor…another explosion will go off when we find out that she is going to publish, and she will. There is no way she is going to stay quiet: she is going to want her side of the story out there and that will do even further damage to the royal family and rock them even more.”
Harry is mad at Kate: “I understand why they are upset because Kate went to great lengths to find out if a royal life was for her and it caused her issues, but they both worked it out and she committed herself to a life of public service. This wasn’t a case of fitting the mold — it’s a case of finding the right person to do the job. Harry has got a nerve to say that because his mother was pressured into an arranged marriage and made to fit the mold. Harry is not always the sharpest tool in the box so he should lay off Kate and William. Kate is doing an amazing job.”
Harry’s regrets: Burrell believes that the Duke of Sussex, 39, “will come to regret” the comments he made about his family. “He has to be careful about attacking the royal family,” the former butler said on behalf of Slingo. “Meghan and Harry have forgotten their only unique selling point is being royal, so why are they trying to destroy the institution? It doesn’t make sense.” He also insists that the Sussexes will never be invited back into the royal fold “with open arms,” adding that “the doors are firmly shut.”
No space for the Sussexes: The royals “are keeping tight-lipped and they are keeping everything in-house,” Burrell added. “I think that is their tactic. They have regrouped and pulled together and there is no space for Meghan and Harry.”
It’s like royal-commentary Mad Libs at this point. The royals are mad at Harry, Harry is mad at Kate, Harry and Meghan desperately need the royals, the royals don’t want him but he better not say anything bad about them or else they’ll never let him come back! The thing about “This wasn’t a case of fitting the mold — it’s a case of finding the right person to do the job” is a reference to Robert Hardman’s dumb book, in which sources claimed that William was furious with Harry for making a “blatant attack on Catherine.” That attack? Harry said that men in his family tend to marry women who “fit the mold” rather than their soulmates. Most people believed Harry was referencing his own parents’ marriage, but William kept screaming to everyone that Harry’s words were about his marriage to Kate. William has done more to insult Kate than Harry ever has. Besides, absolutely no one thought that Kate fit any mold, nor did anyone think that Kate was the best person for “the job” of being William’s wife. She was simply the only one who wanted that job.
Also: the royal peeps are desperate for content and they would love nothing more than a memoir from Meghan. That would keep them in business for another year. Truth be told, I would love for Meghan to tell her story too, but I just don’t think it’s going to happen at this point.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Backgrid.