Last October, New Statesman published a fascinating cover story in which they argued for the abolition of the British monarchy. They made a very well-reasoned argument, and this all happened during the “unroyaling” of Prince Andrew and the release of the Epstein Files. Well, following Andrew’s arrest less than a week ago, New Statesman is at it again with another bold cover story on the crumbling House of Windsor. It’s worth it to read the full piece, but here are some notable highlights:
Andrew’s arrest: “The call is coming from inside the palace and every single one of us can hear it. Andrew has taken the monarchy and dumped it in an acid bath; a very important role for which he is well qualified. We have learned in recent months that princes can be de-princed by a Labour justice secretary, that it is popularity based on polling, not the hereditary principle, that buttresses the Windsors’ continued survival, and perhaps very soon, that the line of succession is for parliament, not the palace, to decide. What kind of monarchy do we have now? A quasi-elective one?”
The broken House of Windsor: “All the glib fogeyism in the realm – do you really want a President Blair or Farage? – will not put the House of Windsor back together again. Things will never be the way they were. Andrew, of course, strenuously denies all wrongdoing in connection with Epstein. He denies any personal gain from his role as trade envoy. He is no longer a prince, a lord chancellor or a grand master of anything other than his £80,000 Range Rover and the seven dogs and two staff who live with him in mud-flecked, photographer-haunted exile in Norfolk.
The weak king: That pre-emptive cringe before the Windsors was a powerful thing in this country. Was. That force – who knows for how long – is at its weakest point for a generation. The crown sits on the head of a timid, tragic King. Unpopular monarchs in the past could at least use the royal prerogative to bribe, bully and intimidate the elite to fall in line. The hated and hateful George IV was able to create 57 peers between 1820 and 1830. For the people, King Charles III offers yoga classes at Highgrove and tea towels at the Balmoral gift shop. For politicians, he can provide association with his family, whose connections to the world’s most famous paedophile continue to stack up. An alluring offer. At least the future King William V will be able to offer them free tickets to the Earthshot Prize gala. The Crown, then, in the gutter. Who will pick it up?
The heir’s odd moves: The heir has made some odd moves ever since the scandal around his uncle intensified last October. In a recent interview with a BBC podcast, William claimed that his mental health had suffered after a couple of years spent working as an air ambulance pilot. “I’m carrying everyone’s emotional baggage,” the prince recalled thinking. Obscure references to hidden traumas are a predictable part of the bristling public relations arsenal of celebrity. We are probably only a few years away from seeing the Prince of Wales on the Steven Bartlett podcast discussing The Body Keeps the Score with Rylan, Mark Wright and Romesh Ranganathan. What does it tell you about the UK today that some of the highest-paid PR professionals in the kingdom are telling their royal client – whose ancestry can be traced to the Anglo-Saxon god Wotan – that affecting misery is the fastest route to relevance?
William & Kate’s future: At some level, after all this, there will be a great emotional need for him and his wife to just be good. The prince’s father was much-satirised for his moaning during the decades he spent waiting to become a bank note. William’s decision to take up this mantle of depression at a time when direct questions are being asked about the alleged harm done by his family to vulnerable women and girls is, frankly, puzzling. He will be closely watched now. The briefings emanating from his camp against both his father and grandmother suggest a crisis, a lack of “calm” in the heir to the throne that will not be resolved soon.
The threat to William’s succession: Windsorists are yet to comprehend what the threat to William’s succession and the firm actually is, beyond a potential trial of Andrew. In January, the Times reported that Prince Harry had won his fight to regain armed police protection. The newspaper did not spell out the full implications for its readers. Harry can now return home to his ailing father and his unhappy country. Should he wish, he will be able to set up a rival court in the land. The House of Windsor and the House of Sussex will be forced to share our small island while the public watches on. A febrile scenario reminiscent of more unpleasant chapters of the medieval period, loaded with the potential for an all-out popularity war between the houses, with unknown consequences for the monarchy itself. What courtiers call “business as usual” will be at a premium.
This is soooo shady: “He will be closely watched now. The briefings emanating from his camp against both his father and grandmother suggest a crisis, a lack of ‘calm’ in the heir to the throne that will not be resolved soon.” Everything is in plain sight if you know where to look. Open secrets abound. Keep in mind, last fall, NS’s cover story went on and on about William’s lack of preparedness, his illiteracy and the lack of executive function needed to be a king. And NS is correct about all of it – while I think that there is more affection for Charles than most people will admit, the whole royal institution is f–ked.
Covers courtesy of New Statesman, photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
