In another instance of time flying, Keke Palmer’s little boy, Leodis, turned a year old back in February. It feels like it was only six months ago that she was revealing her pregnancy during her SNL monologue! Keke’s had a pretty tough year, but she’s always struck me as a positive person with good vibes in general, and I’m sure she has a strong support structure in place. Keke’s also just become a brand ambassador for Chips Ahoy! and is busy promoting a sweepstakes where the winner gets an all-expenses paid trip to Malibu to spend a weekend in a beach house “inspired” by the cookies. You had me at Malibu but locked me in with a cookie-inspired beach house.
Anyway, Keke sat down with Parade to plug the sweepstakes and share some thoughts and wisdom on motherhood, specifically challenges and misconceptions. She talks about the pressure that new moms put on themselves to be perfect, the worries about not being naturally good at motherhood, and learning as you go along. Keke also wants to shatter the notion that all moms need to look and behave in a certain way. She’s pretty awesome.
As with any transition, though, walking into a new life chapter comes with its own set of hardships, and with becoming a parent being such a huge shift, there are several misconceptions she’s observed so far that are associated with the title “mother.”
For the Nope star, she rests in the reassurance that you don’t “need all these rule books,” despite the idea that the opposite is true. In an exclusive interview with Parade on Friday, March 22, the 30-year-old said, “Honestly, even the mom that thinks it didn’t come natural to her, it was exactly what that baby needed.”
While Palmer noted that worrying about being a good mom is “natural,” she encouraged, “You are the perfect mom for your baby. There’s no wrong or right—everything that you do, everything you’re learning; all the lessons and all the figuring it out, you are perfectly suited for your child.”
“The reality and the truth is that there is no perfect anything, there’s just you doing the thing,” she added. “Once you have that confidence to just trust yourself, it becomes so much easier.”
Through her own massive influence, though, she hopes to help change the narrative and stigmas surrounding moms being “nuanced people.”
“There’s this idea of what a mom looks like, and I don’t really think that’s fair because every mom is different,” she said, doubling down that “moms are people and individuals” and “what’s so important about being a parent is that your child sees you” being yourself and having an “independent life.”
I really like all of what she said, particularly the part about normalizing moms being “nuanced” individuals that don’t fit into one descriptor of what a mother should look or act like. I struggled with that a lot when my older son was born. I’d always marched a bit to the beat of my own drum beforehand, but I suddenly didn’t want to be “that” mom who stood out as weird or was someone that the other moms at daycare rolled their eyes at. It took me a long time to realize I’d lost a bit of my self-identity trying to fit into a box and quite honestly, I’m still working on figuring out who I am now and how to feel like myself again.
Keke’s interview and insight reminds me a lot of what Uzo Aduba said recently, about realizing that you’re not going to be perfect but rather just trying to be your best self. I know a lot of first-time moms out there struggle with and worry about being good mothers, and like she said that’s totally normal. But to your baby, who loves you unconditionally, you’re perfect. You’re mommy! Moms need to give themselves some grace, you know? We’re all just trying to figure it out as we go along.