Even the less-royalist British outlets are getting into the Sussex-bashing business this month, as it appears as if every single British journo is incandescent with rage that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are free to visit Australia and make some charitable and commercial stops. I have a small confession: now that we’ve seen some of their Australian events, I do think this looks like a “royal tour” in many ways. But I’m not mad about it – I think it’s hysterically funny, actually. Harry and Meghan went to Oz on their own dime, they’re paying for their own security and personnel, and they’re still showing that they don’t need to be attached to a royal office to have a schedule which includes “visiting a children’s hospital” and “spending time at a veterans center and a women’s shelter.” Well, the Guardian quoted an Australian “associate professor and royals researcher” at length and, shock of shocks, this woman was practically spitting with rage about the Sussexes’ Australian tour.
The professor speaks! “Back in 2018 they were newly married, newly pregnant and we were very, very excited,” Flinders University associate professor and royals researcher Giselle Bastin said. “They had a glamour attached to them … they felt like a new beginning, like the future of the Windsors. [But] there’s been so much fracture and unhappiness around the couple and their relationship with the royals … the celebrity shine has rather worn off.”
As Ever promotion!! There will be no walkabouts to meet the public because of security and cost concerns. Instead, along with the luxe wellness retreat, Meghan will be promoting As Ever, her collection of products that the website describes as “more than a brand”. “They’re not reading the room,” Bastin said. “Having to flog $3,000 tickets to a wellness retreat looks quite pointless in the current world climate. It’s tin-eared.”
The Sussexes are broke, you guys: Nine newspapers published a brutal rundown of the pair’s income stream on Monday, in a piece titled “Australia was good to Harry and Meghan. Now they want to use us as an ATM”. It noted the couple struggling to afford a 16-room, $14.65m ($21m) house in Montecito, California, while also listing their $20m ($28m) Spotify podcast deal, $20m ($28m) from Penguin Random House for Harry’s book Spare, a “substantial sum” from his father for life outside Britain, £6m ($11.4m) inherited from Diana and £8m ($15.2m) from the late Queen Mother’s estate.
The Sussexes are raising money in Australia: Bastin said they still need cash, and are using Australia to raise it. “They have an enormous output in terms of money and they don’t have as much coming in,” she said. “It’s a faux royal tour. They’re not working royals. I think they’re using Australia as an opportunity to get a sense of the mood, about how they’ll be received … to cosplay what it might be like if they once again become working royals.”
I guess the Guardian is making fun of the “broke” claims by giving their readers a partial list of all of the money Harry and Meghan have already made? Is that what’s happening there? It’s so wild to me that British and Australian outlets are so panicked that they’re now saying that the Sussexes can’t afford their 629 bathrooms in Montecito. For the last time (I hope) – I’m sure it’s costing Harry & Meghan more to make this trip than they’re making from their commercial gigs. And even if that’s not the case, literally no one is forcing Australians to buy tickets to see H&M. “The celebrity shine has rather worn off”– yeah, keep telling yourself that. William has a face like a dirty thumb and Kate is Botoxed to hell and back, and they force children to leave their schools just for royal photo-ops. Meanwhile, people are genuinely thrilled to see H&M whenever they’re out and about.
So lovely to hear from the sweet patients at the Royal Children’s Hospital who were just as excited to meet Harry & Meghan.
“It was very exciting and I just love Meghan’s dress. It was so pretty.”#HarryAndMeghan #WelcomeToAustralia#HarryAndMeghanVisitAustralia pic.twitter.com/PgmqXTSGk2
— Senior Lieutenant Zandi Sussex (@ZandiSussex) April 14, 2026
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.
