Valentine’s Day tends to be one of those holidays that people have strong opinions about. Some argue that it’s a commercialized holiday that sets up unrealistic expectations and serves as a forced reminder of being single. People who are in the pro-Valentine’s Day camp think it’s a nice opportunity to celebrate love, whether it’s with a partner, family, or friends. Personally, I stand somewhere in the middle. It’s totally a made-up, commercialized holiday, but I like the overall sentiment and excuse to eat chocolate.
Well, Dax Shepard has some thoughts about Valentine’s Day. During a recent episode of his podcast Armchair Expert, Dax brought the topic up to his cohost Monica Padman, saying that he’d read something on Instagram that claimed that couples are happier if they don’t celebrate V-Day. Monica pretty much clocked right away that it was one of those bullsh-t IG posts that just tell people what they want to hear, but Dax was insistent. After listing the reasons he hates Valentine’s Day, he then confessed that he’d gone all out for his two daughters, Lincoln, 12, and Delta, 11, and didn’t do much for his wife of over 12 years, Kristen Bell.
On the latest segment of his Armchair Expert podcast, Dax Shepard and his cohost, Monica Padman, discussed their differing thoughts on celebrating Valentine’s Day.
The subject came up in conversation after Dax — who has been married to Kristen Bell since 2013 — cited apparent research that said “couples who don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day are happier.” Recalling his response after reading the report, Dax said, “I was like, ‘Thank God!’”
When Monica insisted that the research wasn’t true, Dax replied, “It’s comforting to know that people who don’t celebrate report higher satisfaction.”
Monica then said, “Who are they asking, the man who doesn’t wanna be going to the restaurant?” Dax replied, “That’s the thing that keeps me from ‘celebrating.’ It’s the worst day of the year to try to go out to a restaurant, or get flowers, or anything! It makes anything that would normally be enjoyable really unenjoyable.”
In response, Monica told Dax that he didn’t have to necessarily go out to a restaurant. “You can just celebrate by saying ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ or giving a card,” she said.
Dax then went on to explain that he actually pours all his energy into his and Kristen’s daughters, who are 11 and 12.
“What happens — for better or worse — is, my girls are my valentines. So I went all out for my girls,” he said, adding, “All I’ll say is that someone had a less-than-exciting Valentine’s Day versus their anticipation.”
Dax revealed that for Valentine’s Day, he bought his daughters heart-shaped floats for their pool and made each of them handmade cards, complete with hand-drawn pictures and lengthy messages about how he feels about them.
“I put several hours into my valentines on Saturday… All my resources went to the little ones,” he said, adding, “I definitely neglected my mom and Kristen.” (Dax noted that his mom has been his valentine for “51 years.”)
He then said, “But I think from Kristen and my mom’s point of view, they saw that I was putting a lot of my energy on my other two valentines.” Monica replied, “For Kristen, that is the Valentine’s gift,” to which Dax said, “I hope so, I think so.”
So, it’s not that Dax doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, it’s that he doesn’t believe in doing something for or with his wife on Valentine’s Day. Of course his algorithm is going to show him sh-t like “couples who don’t celebrate V-Day are happier.” It sounds like he hasn’t even ever bothered to ask Kristen her thoughts on the holiday. Sometimes I wonder how much they really even like each other. I mean, how hard would it be for Dax to send his assistant out to get a card and some flowers for both Kristen and his mom? Even if Kristen isn’t into making a big deal, I’m bet she’d still appreciate some simple gesture like a nice bouquet.
It’s cute that Dax spent all of that time making cards for Lincoln and Delta, though. I’m sure they felt very special to have their dad shower them with so much attention in that way. While I very frequently side-eye Dax and Kristen’s choices as parents, I do think they both love their daughters and try to be present as parents. Also, it’s been a hot minute since I’d watched a clip of Dax talking. When did his face and voice start morphing into RFK Jr’s? Dude needs to lay off the testosterone. He needs less T, more flowers.
Here’s the clip of Dax and Monica talking about Valentine’s Day. It’s cued to start in that section, but just in case, it begins at 13:14.
Photos credit: Jennifer Graylock-Graylock.com/Avalon, Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon