DEAR MISS MANNERS: A while back, a colleague of mine said that he and his wife would like to invite me to dinner at their home.
The evening of the dinner, there was another guest, Chloe, a woman my age who teaches with my colleague’s wife.
The evening was very enjoyable, with good conversation. At the end, the hostess told me that she had brought Chloe from school in her car and asked if I would take her home. I did, and said goodnight to her at her door. She invited me inside, but I declined.
The following week, my colleague gave me a note from his wife, which said, “Chloe thinks you may have forgotten to ask for her phone number,” and gave me the number.
I understood at this point that I was expected to phone Chloe, but I had no inclination to do so, and I saw no easy way to explain why. I saved the number in my phone and took no other action.
After several more weeks, my colleague asked me how Chloe and I were getting along. I told him I had not seen or spoken to Chloe since the evening at his home.
He became very upset with me. He and his wife were trying to set me up with Chloe, and Chloe herself, apparently, was agreeable to the idea. I, of course, knew nothing about this at the time.
My most recent relationship ended badly, and I am enjoying the freedom of not dating at the moment. Chloe is a perfectly nice woman, but I’m not interested in dating her or anyone else right now. My colleague did not know any of this.
I feel bad for Chloe. I’m concerned that she feels I have rejected her. I think someone owes her an explanation, but I’m not sure it’s me.
I don’t see that any of this was my fault, but I don’t know what I should do.
GENTLE READER: Do you lose sleep over not hearing telemarketers out to the end?
Because Miss Manners is not sure what you think Chloe or your colleague or his wife need explained to them. They know you are not interested in dating Chloe; they just do not care. They are busy deciding what colleges your and Chloe’s future children should attend.
You did nothing wrong. Miss Manners hopes you will enjoy your freedom. While it lasts.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I gently remind a lovely young neighbor, in the apartment next door, that leaving her keys in the door overnight is not a safe thing to do?
I see them in her door lock at least once a week.
Is there a way to get the point across without being horribly graphic and terrifying? She is a wonderful person and I would hate for any harm to come to her.
GENTLE READER: Knock on the door and hand her back the keys a few times. Then, if it keeps happening, keep the keys overnight and return them in the morning.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.