You’ve watched “When Harry Met Sally” so many times that you’re now avoided at parties since you annoy everyone by reciting not only Meg Ryan’s lines but Billy Crystal’s. Eh, gads.
You’ve also bawled your eyes out over “The Notebook” ad nauseum and have replayed that sobby rainy scene over and over. Sorry. Ryan Gosling is never gonna be your sweetie.
So on this Valentine’s Day, you might want to spice things up with your love-worn romantic film watching.
To aid you in that pursuit, we selected 14, mostly lesser-known alternatives to the standbys to help celebrate St. Cupid’s special day — Feb. 14. We’re rating them by their spice level, the chemistry between the leads and the amount of tears that they make you shed.
Here’s our love-ly roundup.
‘Música’
The story: A Newark street performer (director/writer Rudy Mancuso) in a Brazilian neighborhood is stuck in a bad romance but falls for the easy-going Isabella (Camila Mendes) at a fish market. Mancuso introduces his synesthesia (a condition wherein he experiences sounds around him as a series of rhythms) into a big-hearted, music-infused sweetheart of a film.
Spiciness: 1 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: 2 out of 4
Where to watch: Amazon Prime
‘One Night in Tokyo’
The story: A short excursion to see a special someone in Japan breaks the heart of a New York workaholic (Reza Emamiyeh) when that someone dumps him once he arrives. While awaiting a flight out the next morning, he hangs out with his college pal’s girlfriend Ayaka (Tokiko Kitagawa) and the sparks slowly start to fly and even overcome the language barriers. Writer/director Joshua Woodcock’s romantic charmer is both wistful and sweet.
Spiciness: 2 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: 2 out of 4
How to watch: Available Feb. 14 on digital and VOD.
‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’
The story: Netflix’s racy 2022 adaptation of D.H. Lawrence’s scandalous (back then) 1928 novel about the fiery lust about between a depressed, loveless married woman and a brooding gamekeeper accentuates the torrid elements of this period story and doesn’t overly romanticize any of it. As the lovers in question, Emma Corrin and Jack O’Connell bring the body heat to director Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre’s more progressive retelling.
Spiciness: 4 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: 1 out of 4.
Where to watch: Available on Netflix
‘Red, White & Royal Blue’
The story: The president’s (Uma Thurman) hunky son (Taylor Zakhar Perez) and the more buttoned-up son (Nicholas Galitzine) of British royalty go from enemies to lovers lickety-split in Matthew Lopez’s sexy adaptation of Casey McQuiston’s beloved best seller. The two leads are irresistible and their romance steams up the screen.
Spiciness: 3 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 3 out of 4
How to watch: Available Prime
‘In the Mood for Love’
The story: Can a romantic drama be so erotic and sexy without any nudity and long scenes of lovemaking? Make that a definite yes, should it be in the hands of the right director — Wong Kar-wai — and is starring two beautiful leads — Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung. “In the Mood for Love” aches so prettily with unrequited passion as two married neighbors form an intense bond that is fire-hot.
Spiciness: 3 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: Off the charts
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
How to watch: Available to rent on various platforms
‘My Old Ass’
The story: A ready-to-go-to college student Elliott (Maisy Stella) trips out on ‘shrooms while on a birthday camping trip with friends and imagines her 39-year-old bitter self (Aubrey Plaza) appearing. While that doesn’t sound like the fixings for either a rom-com or a romantic drama, director Megan Park’s multi-hued sophomore effort serves as both and also poses and ponders one of the most profound questions about love. You’ll just have to watch it to find out what that question is.
Spiciness: 2 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
How to watch: Available on Amazon Prime
‘Hit Man’
The story: Indie darling Richard Linklater (“Boyhood”) loosely adapts a true story about a low-key professor who moonlights as a New Orleans undercover cop and transforms it into one hot romantic thriller/comedy. A wrinkle happens when Gary’s “hitman” persona Ron (Glen Powell) wins over the desperate Madison (Adria Arjona) who has hired his services to rub out an abusive hubby. Guess what? He falls for her too.
Spiciness: 4 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 1 out of 4
Where to watch: Available on Netflix
‘We Live in Time’
The story: Told in nonlinear fashion, director John Crowley’s romance about endearing young lovers Almut (Florence Pugh) and Tobias (Andrew Garfield) spans years and includes the crazy way they met along with the joy, the roadblocks and one hilarious — and graphic — birth scene. Written by British playwright Nick Payne it’s full of relatable moments and is the very definition of a “good cry.”
Spiciness: 2 out of 4
Chemistry: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: The whole box of Kleenex
Where to watch: Available to rent on various platforms
‘Rye Lane’
The story: Romances that bloom in the Big City — be it New York, Paris, San Francisco, Los Angeles and so on — often lead to neurotic romantic partners fumbling about with their indecision, issues and exorbitant rents. One of the liveliest genre examples is director Raine Allen-Miller’s sassy London-set, day-long rom-com that doesn’t waste one nano-second of its flinty 82-minute running time. The initial meeting of Yas (Vivian Oparah) and Dom (David Jonsson) doesn’t exactly send them down the right path, since he’s nursing an all-consuming hurt from a breakup and is expressing his pain very badly and very loudly. “Rye Lane” is a delight, and even includes a pithy Colin Firth cameo.
Spiciness: 3 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: 1 out of 4, all by Dom
Where to watch: Available on Hulu and Disney+
‘Challengers’
The story: A confident, up-and-coming tennis sensation (played with gusto by Oakland native Zendaya) gets tangled in a net of desire with two imperfect matches — best buds (Josh O’Connor and Mike Faist) whose jealousies turn them into rivals both on and off the courts. “Queer” director Luca Guadagnino lobs a sexy drama that’s sweaty and deliriously over-the-top in its portrayal of the game of love, and tennis.
Spiciness: 3 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 3 out of 4
Tears shed: None, except when Zendaya’s character experiences an injury
Where to watch: Available to rent on various platforms
‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’
The story: A female artist (Noémie Merlant) in 1770 France captures more than just an image when she’s assigned to paint a portrait of an unhappy bride-to-be (Adèle Haenel). The two strike up a passionate affair that sharply contrasts with the hollow and austere estate they dwell in. Director Céline Sciamma’s monumental work is wise and intimate and filled with deep, existing-in-the-shadows emotion.
Spiciness: 4 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
Where to watch: Available to rent on various platforms
‘Past Lives’
The story: A visit from a South Korean childhood crush (Teo Yoo) brings to the fore repressed feelings that a married New York playwright (Greta Lee) harbors not only for him but her own South Korean roots. Celine Song’s romantic drama is gracefully lined with life’s “what ifs” and stays with you just like that first love you’ll never be able to forget.
Spiciness: 1 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
Where to watch: Available to rent on various platforms
‘Sylvie’s Love’
The story: Writer/director Eugene Ashe’s glossy, classy melodrama is set the mid-20th century and is about as smooth and seductive as a perfectly performed jazz song. The decades-spanning romance contains two beautiful lovers and is shot with the vividness of a Douglas Sirk weeper. The “Love” in the title belongs to a sax player (Nnamdi Asomugha) and a record store employee (Tessa Thompson) who goes on to become a studio exec. Declan Quinn’s incredible cinematography, Fabrice Lecomte’s score and Phoenix Mellow’s gorgeous costumes make this an ideal Valentine’s Day treat, one you can cuddle up with your sweetie and swoon over.
Spiciness: 3 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
Where to watch: Amazon Prime
‘The Worst Person in the World’
The story: Every romantic trope gets polished and redesigned in Joachim Trier’s final film in his Oslo trilogy. This radiant romantic drama tags along with aimless Julie (Renate Reinsve) as she finds love, trips over it and rediscovers it along with her own identity. It’s sexy, funny, sad and will take your breath away.
Spiciness: 4 out of 4
Chemistry between leads: 4 out of 4
Tears shed: 4 out of 4
Where to watch: Available to stream on various platforms
Contact Randy Myers at soitsrandy@gmail.com.