DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been saving up for the past few years with one goal in mind: to finally get my hands on my dream car, a classic 1969 Ford Mustang.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: I’m afraid to ask my mom why she doesn’t look pregnant in the old photo
Harriette Cole: I’m so attracted to him, but there’s one big problem
Harriette Cole: I got the job my boyfriend applied for. What do I do now?
Harriette Cole: My girlfriend is stealing from me. How should I confront her?
Harriette Cole: I’m 16, and my mom refuses to help me claim my lottery winnings
The thought of owning this iconic vehicle has fueled my day-to-day work and drive all these years.
Yet my family — especially my parents — have expressed concerns about my decision. They fear that investing in a vintage car may not be the smartest financial move, suggesting instead that I focus on saving for a house or furthering my education.
I’m in my mid-20s, and while I deeply value their advice, I’m still thinking about that Mustang over their valid financial perspectives. Any insight would be great.
— Dream Car
DEAR DREAM CAR: Look at your whole life. Are you currently living independently? Do you take care of yourself, or do your parents still support you? What is your plan for the future?
If you currently work, pay your rent, buy your food and live your life independently, you have every right to make financial decisions on your own. While it might be more responsible to save for a home or education, if you want that car, it is your decision to make if you can afford it — even if that delays other goals.
If you are living under your parents’ roof and benefiting from their generosity, you should think twice about indulging in this purchase.
What would happen if they told you it’s time to move out? Would you have the resources to be independent? Think about these things before you spend your money.
DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to “Desperate for Help,” the struggling single mother trying to help her 10-year-old son who is behind academically, your advice was spot on.
I was a fourth-grade teacher and reading specialist for many years, and I would also like to offer some suggestions.
While I completely understand this mother’s limited time, I have to say that the attitude she presents to her son about his learning capabilities is extremely important. He needs to know she believes in him, and even if it’s only an hour a day, she needs to read aloud with him and take time to review his schoolwork and his progress.
If she shows him she’s plugged in to what he’s working on, that she’s committed to his academic success, he will live up to her expectations.
While reading with him and reviewing his work, she needs to be positive, encouraging and upbeat.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: She gives me gifts that are intended as public insults
Dear Abby: I overlooked my friend’s bad behavior, until she turned on me
Ask Amy: How can I tell these flirty men that I stick to my own kind?
Harriette Cole: I’m afraid to ask my mom why she doesn’t look pregnant in the old photo
Miss Manners: I got a $40 wedding gift from 8 people, and I’m baffled about how to respond
I realize this is tough, but, having raised three children, including one with learning difficulties, while teaching, I can attest it can be done, and her son will benefit greatly from her attention and commitment to his learning. I sincerely hope this helps.
— Concerned
DEAR CONCERNED: Thanks for adding your insights.
You are right that the parent’s attitude is so important to the child’s success. Encouragement and cheerleading help to build a child’s self-esteem and, in turn, help to fuel the motivation needed to push forward when things are difficult.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.