Harriette Cole: My boss must have noticed how uptight I’ve gotten

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been feeling overwhelmed at work.

I was hired as support for one team but have now been expected to regularly cover two large teams. I sometimes find myself struggling to efficiently and seamlessly complete tasks for my main team while juggling tasks on both ends.

Per my year-end review, I think my manager noticed a shift in my attitude in the office and with my colleagues (specifically, that I’ve been less social and much more uptight). As a result, my manager let me know that if I would prefer to support only the team I was originally hired for, I just need to let them know, and they’ll begin looking for another hire.

This feels like an impossible decision. I can’t help but feel like neither scenario is a win.

If I say I no longer want to support both, it appears as though I am not able to handle more (even though this is a company I’m looking to grow with). If I continue to let the strenuous weight of the second team impede my performance with the first team, I will appear incompetent anyway.

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What would you do?

— How To Grow

DEAR HOW TO GROW: Refresh your attitude with a winner’s mindset.

Study the duties you now have, and look for ways to streamline the work or enlist support. Seek out solutions and recommend them to your boss as you clearly demonstrate that you are willing and able to do what it takes to succeed, even if that means delegating some of the work.

Give yourself a timeline for showing your boss that you are a team player and a creative problem solver. Ask for help when you need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been living in New York City for the past five years. We initially moved here for the career opportunities and the exciting, vibrant lifestyle that the city offers.

My husband finds the fast-paced lifestyle exhausting and feels like it’s starting to take a toll on his mental and physical health. He’s been expressing a strong desire to leave the city and move somewhere quieter and slower-paced where we could settle down and eventually start a family.

While I completely understand and respect his feelings, I find myself hesitant to leave.

For me, NYC isn’t just where we live; it’s where I feel most alive. I love the energy, the diversity and the endless things to do, and the idea of raising kids here doesn’t bother me at all. I think it could actually be a great place for them to grow up with so many cultural and educational opportunities.

I worry that moving to a smaller town or suburb might leave me feeling stifled and disconnected.

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I’m torn between staying in a city that I love and prioritizing my husband’s happiness and our shared goals for the future. How do we deal with such a difference in perspective?

— Where To Live

DEAR WHERE TO LIVE: It is possible to live close to NYC without being in the center of the hustle and bustle.

Start in the outer boroughs where there are quiet neighborhoods, or venture further into other areas in the state that provide good public schools and healthy neighborhoods. In this way, you can be city-adjacent, maintaining a family presence on the periphery, but remain easily able to pop into the city for special occasions.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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