DEAR HARRIETTE: I am obsessed with watching TV. I will binge-watch anything.
I wake up in the morning and turn on the TV, and the next thing you know, half the day is gone, and I can’t account for the time.
I tell myself often to get a few chores done before I turn on the TV, but that resolve doesn’t last very long. Once the TV is on, my plans seem to dissipate.
I work from home and manage to get my work done, but only the bare minimum. I have even missed a few deadlines here and there because I couldn’t stop watching until a series ended.
How can I break this habit?
— TV Addict
DEAR TV ADDICT: You have to decide what your priorities are.
Each night, write out a list of things to do the next day. When you wake up, execute your plan. Include TV time on the list, but keep it later in the day, after your responsibilities are completed.
Be strict with yourself. Do not turn on the TV until the appointed hour — and only if you have completed all of your tasks in advance. Make TV a reward rather than a crutch.
Another important recommendation: Do not have a TV in the room where you work. Consider that a safe zone. Don’t slip up and use your computer or phone as a streaming device.
You have to be honest with yourself, or you will not be successful.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since I was a child, my mom never liked to throw anything away, whether it was old clothes, expired food, broken appliances or even random junk mail.
When I was young, I thought it was just her being quirky or frugal, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized it’s much more than that. Now, at 28 years old, I’m starting to see how bad the situation really is.
Her house is no longer livable; every room is packed with clutter from floor to ceiling, and it’s hard to walk through without stepping over piles of stuff. She still insists on holding on to everything, saying that it might be useful “someday.” The reality is that most of it is garbage.
It breaks my heart to see her living like this, especially since she’s now alone in the house.
I’m her only daughter, and I feel an immense responsibility to help her, but I don’t know where to start. Whenever I bring up the idea of cleaning or organizing, she gets defensive or even angry. She doesn’t seem to recognize how dangerous this has become — not just for her physical health, but also for her mental well-being.
How can I approach this without making her feel judged or attacked?
— Mom the Hoarder
DEAR MOM THE HOARDER: It is time to seek professional help. An intervention from a therapist who specializes in hoarding disorder may be the best next step.
Find a therapist in your area who will come to do a site visit and chat with your mother.
The journey toward healing is long, and she may be angry at first, but if you can get her to talk to someone outside the family, it may provide some help.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.