I just returned from vacation in France. As a transgender woman, I was amazed by the complete absence of transphobia. I was treated with dignity by every French person I met. It was always “madame” or “mademoiselle.” Nobody stared, pointed, or asked barbed questions—little cruelties that are now everyday occurrences at home. The only transphobia I experienced came from other Americans. It seems to me that the French live by their revolutionary ideals of “Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité,” Americans, not so much.
Transgender Americans are already four times more likely to be murdered, ten times more likely to attempt suicide, four times more likely to be unemployed, two and half times more likely to live in poverty, and three times more likely to be homeless, but Republicans are making things worse. They frame us as a threat to American children and morality. President Trump, who dodged service in Vietnam and is a well-documented liar, labeled us “dishonest” and unfit for military service.
Trans kids and, increasingly, adults, are denied life-saving, gender-affirming care that is supported by every major medical organization. The word “transgender” has been systematically removed from federal records. Republicans are working to overturn the Bostock decision, which protects us from workplace discrimination. Locally, they’ve passed ordinances to ban Pride flags from public buildings and withdrawn support from the county’s Human Rights Commission even as anti-LGBTQ hate crimes are on the rise.
Yet, what all Americans – even straight, gender-conforming Americans – should fear is the way the attack on transgender people is eroding everyone’s freedoms.
For example, the intersex community, which is approximately twice the size of the transgender population, suffers identical harms because their existence is antithetical to the binary dogma. This erases their identities and perpetuates a culture of silence and shame.
Transphobia attacks all gender nonconformity. Tall females, females who wear “mens” clothing, have broad shoulders or deep voices face new “gender vigilantism.” Not long ago in Ohio, a transgender man asked the managers of the campground where he was staying which bathroom to use. He was told to use the female restroom because it matched the gender assigned at birth, but when he did, he was assaulted, detained and arrested. Last month in Florida, a cisgender female Walmart employee was followed into the women’s room by a man who thought she was transgender because she’s tall. Instead of addressing the harassment, Walmart fired the victim, which one commentator explained was proof that “transphobia and misogyny have always been two sides of the same coin,” that it has “always been about punishing women, cis and trans, for not fitting standards of femininity the Christian right wants to enforce.”
Even gender-conforming men suffer when they fail to meet masculine standards, leading to increased rates of addiction, unemployment, suicidality and academic struggles. This crisis is acknowledged by conservatives and progressives alike, but the underlying issue—gender expectations—is taboo.
Transgender Americans demand the right to work, attend school, and access public facilities, including restrooms, without fear. Nor will we sell out the tiny number of trans females who want to participate in sports. As a former P.E. teacher and coach, I understand how human physiology impacts performance and support sports leagues that create fair, scientifically validated standards for trans-athletes. What I can’t accept are witch hunts perpetrated by Republican demagogues. The number of trans female athletes is so minuscule, that fear-mongering about trans “dominance” is just a red herring masking the real harm of subjecting all female athletes to “are you a real woman” hysteria.
I’m saddened that gender extremists are moving us backward. I think about the nine years I served in the Marines and I’m troubled by a sense that I protected freedoms our country has abandoned. I took my oath seriously. I was willing to lay down my life to protect our nation because I believed I was defending the principle that all people “are created equal” with “inalienable rights” to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” but those words don’t mean anything if living authentically makes me and those like me second-class citizens.
Stephanie Wade is the Chair of the Lavender Democrats and an Equality California Board Member. The opinions expressed are her own.