I’m pretty sure I was a Mexican in my last life, because I’ve always had this deep affinity for our neighbor to the south.
I love most everything about Mexican culture, including the wide variety of regional cuisines, the friendliness of the people, the darn tasty adult beverages, the fascinating ruined ancient cities, the vibrant colors, the charming colonial towns with their cobblestone streets and the many gorgeous landscapes of the mountains and sea.
Not to mention that any country that invented not only the margarita but also guacamole and chocolate is all right by me.
What I don’t like is mariachi music with its blaring horns that give me a headache. Not a huge fan of blaring horns in any capacity, but especially when they’re near me.
This is on my mind because of Cinco de Mayo, the 5th of May holiday — which is today if you’re reading this in the Sunday paper. Cinco de Mayo sometimes seems to me to be the American epicenter of ear-splitting mariachis.
The funny thing about American’s deep embrace of Cinco de Mayo celebrations (and who am I to argue with any party that includes both tequila and guacamole?) is that it’s not really an important holiday in Mexico.
Cinco de Mayo commemorates the date of Mexico’s 1862 (short-lived) victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla, against great odds. Admittedly, in the colonial city of Puebla — where the battle took place — it’s party hearty time with fireworks, parades and — I’m guessing here — an adult beverage or two.
I know, I know. You probably didn’t know that France occupied Mexico at one time, right? That Napoleon guy really got around, and while he never actually visited Mexico, his successor, Napoleon III, sent his troops to invade Mexico and then occupied it from 1862 to 1867.
The French were helped by powerful people in Mexico who were mighty miffed by then-Mexican President Benito Juarez’s insistence on taking away their giant hacienda estates to distribute the land to the peasants.( I mean, really, the gall.) These rich and powerful oligarchs were happy to help the French take over, as long as they could get some bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild in the bargain. (OK, I’m kidding about that part.)
After imported French troops drove Benito Juarez out of office, Napoleon III looked around for someone suitable who was willing to go on down and rule Mexico for him, and he came up with Ferdinand Maximilian Joseph, who happened to be the archduke of Austria.
So, in 1864, Ferdinand and his wife, Carlota, were installed as emperor and empress of Mexico. if you’ve ever wondered how annoying polka music ended up in Mexico, that’s part of the reason. They brought scads of European musicians with them, and even established a music conservatory that still exists today.
However, this hapless imperial couple was only in power for three years before Mexican forces drove them out, and sent Ferdinand to his maker via firing squad.
Despite this setback in European domination, polka music and dancing became popular in Mexico, after becoming a sensation at the French royal court. German farmers who’d emigrated to Mexico also brought their folk music, adding yet more ooom pah-pah to the mix.
OK, OK, I know that’s way more than you wanted to know about Mexican history. But I need to explain one more thing, so just bear with me.
Instead of Cinco de Mayo, the actually big Mexican patriotic holiday is the 16th of September, equivalent to our Fourth of July, but with less beer from Milwaukee.
This commemorates the day in 1810 that a priest named Father Miguel Hidalgo made an impassioned speech urging Mexicans to throw off the chains of their Spanish masters, and rallied them to launch a final revolt for freedom that succeeded in creating the new nation of Mexico.
So, yeah, that’s why Sept. 16 is considered Mexican Independence Day. And, yes, there are parades and fireworks and parties and adult beverages.
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And that’s the important patriotic holiday in my second-favorite country. I don’t go to Mexico for this holiday, because your average Mexican patriot is way too fond of shooting off ear-splitting fireworks, and there isn’t enough tequila in the world to sleep through it.
I really wasn’t sure if you all would want to listen to my lecture on the early history of Mexico, but too bad, you got it anyway. I like to call myself the Cliff Clavin of random information, but nowadays not so many people even know who that is.
You’ve had your lesson for today. Now, go dig into the guacamole, but save some for me.