Growing up in the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith, nonbinary Inland Empire author Jonathan “Jon Paul” Higgins struggled to find positive representations of their identity. They used media — especially television — as a way to escape gender and societal pressures felt as a Black, queer person.
As a child, watching TV shows like “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” “Making the Band,” or America’s Next Top Model” — and seeing the cast with queer, Black, feminine representation — helped Higgins, who uses they/them pronouns, feel seen. In these brief episodes of people expressing their truest selves, they suddenly felt affirmed for who they are — not who the religious elders or others wanted them to be.
“I was looking for folks who looked like me on television because I didn’t have access to them in my real life,” Higgins, 39, said. “I didn’t know anyone who looked like me or celebrated being like me.”
Now the Chino Hills resident wants to do the same for others through their work in education, social justice, writing, podcasting, and working with queer youth in the Inland Empire and beyond.
Higgins is also embracing their newest role as a published author. Their debut book, “Black. Fat. Femme: Revealing the Power of Visibly Queer Voices in Media and Learning to Love Yourself,” out March 25, is part memoir, part examination of queer media, and part self-help, they said.
The book explores the transformative role queer media and identity have played in Higgins’ life, and the “magic” of being “Black, fat and femme.”
“Our stories deserve to be told,” the author writes. “We deserve to exist beyond the stereotypes and archetypes created around us.”
Higgins connected the work to their own, strict religious upbringing, which was “extremely monitored.” It initially put pressure on them to “perform” as someone else, as a Black, hypermasculine youth, they said.
Writing such a personal book and helping others was the natural next step for Higgins, who has made a name for themselves through their award-winning podcast of the same name, “The Black Fat Femme Podcast,” on iHeartMedia.
The show, started in 2021, features Higgins and co-host Jordan Daniels; two “queer, fat and Black change makers” sharing their joys and struggles while uncovering what it means to “love oneself unapologetically” in a world where that often feels impossible, the show’s description reads.
Higgins and Daniels talk amongst themselves and with guests about the intersections of race, queerness and fatness, with episodes about celebrating Black history to the erasure of “DEI.”
“It’s hard finding yourself and being happy in your identity, in a world constantly telling you that you’re not supposed to be here,” Higgins said.
“B.F.F.” has amassed over 75,000 downloads and a few accolades, including a Shorty Award and a Webby Award.
Higgins’ new book of the same title invites readers to learn about how “standing at the intersection of multiple identities, communities, and causes shapes people and how they see the world.” It goes in-depth about Higgins’ life in Compton and later in San Bernardino County, the hardships and abuse they endured, and highlights other Black and queer icons they had growing up.
Higgins said they have a deep love for the Inland Empire —”flaws and all”— and its diverse queer community. They work as a communications director with the Rainbow Pride Youth Alliance, a nonprofit that provides a safe space for LGBTQ+ people in the region.
“I want queer youth living in Colton or Norco — or anywhere in San Bernardino, where it’s very anti-Black, anti-queer, anti-fat — to be able to feel uplifted by seeing my successes,” Higgins said.
Podcast co-host Daniels praised Higgins’ book debut as a “blueprint for people on how to navigate finding themselves.”
“There aren’t many — if any — books that focus on being Black, being fat, and being femme, so I think Jon’s book will give people a lot of tools to thrive,” Daniels, 30, said. “This book is very affirming — I think for some, it will actually be lifesaving.”
Going through painful and abusive experiences became a driving force for their mission: to uplift queer and plus-sized representation, helping to make it more inclusive.
Higgins said they are concerned about the Trump administration’s stance on LGBTQ+ and transgender issues, including attempts to end policies that protect the community’s rights and visibility — from ending gender-affirming care, to disallowing trans women to participate in sports or serve in the military.
“That’s kind of the world we’re living under right now, when we think about what it means to be queer, trans and nonbinary.”
Excited for more people to read the book, Higgins said that community has been the biggest source of “queer joy” during this time.
“We need to be worried about what’s going on in the world and how we take care of our community,” they said. “But we also need to be worried about being in community, being around people who fill our cups back up.”
“Black. Fat. Femme: Revealing the Power of Visibly Queer Voices in Media and Learning to Love Yourself” can be found on Amazon, Bookshop, Audible, and wherever books are sold.
A free book launch is set for Tuesday, March 25 at 7 p.m. at The Plus Bus Boutique, 5031 York Blvd., in Los Angeles.