Holiday season stress can seem unavoidable in some ways, but there are ways to navigate it — or, at minimum, set yourself up to avoid it as best you can. A season typically about spreading joy and enjoying family can also usher in pressure. Here are tips for working through some of the more daunting aspects of the holiday season.
Have a set budget and manage expectations with loved ones
One of the most stressful parts of the holiday season is the financial burden it can put on you, including money spent on buying gifts and traveling to see family. To avoid pressure on yourself and overspending on gifts, set a specific spending goal, Matt Watson, the CEO of financial planning app Origin, said to The Associated Press. Avoid going into “justification mode” when you splurge on an item clearly outside your budget and suddenly “you’ve done that a few times and you spend twice as much as you thought you might,” Watson said.
Open and honest communication with loved ones ahead of time can help you manage expectations. Those conversations can also help you “avoid feeling inadequate or like you’re not doing a good job,” Watson said.
Pick which traditions are important to you
Maintaining holiday traditions can be overwhelming, especially when you feel the pressure to recreate rituals on your own that your family has done for years. Traditions are meant to be ways to reconnect with your loved ones, but doing it just right can add strain over the holidays.
“When it’s our turn to carry out a tradition, we feel like we need to do it a certain way, and if we don’t do it that way, we may feel we’re letting other people down, not just ourselves,” Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor and chair of Northern Illinois University’s department of counseling Degges-White said to CNN. Consider which traditions are a must-have and which ones you can put to the side, she said. “Sometimes we have to make really tough decisions due to the limited supply of time, energy and money.”
Set boundaries early
Holiday festivities can pull you in several directions, along with making you feel obligated to make everyone happy. This often leads to “overcommitting and an increase in anxiety,” psychiatrist Brook Choulet said at The Washington Post. Setting boundaries early about what you can and cannot do can help ease the load. Doing so “doesn’t mean avoiding people you care about or social obligations,” Choulet added, “it simply means deciding how much you can — and want to — realistically handle.” Consider what makes you happy and how much socializing you can muster. “It’s okay to say you’re unable to attend an event or politely excuse yourself early from a gathering.” Setting your boundaries ahead of time will “allow you to enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed.”
Do not be afraid to say no. Social events often happen back-to-back during the season, but if they are “causing you too much financial stress” or “hurting your mental health,” it is “okay to be selective,” said The Associated Press. Dr. Marketa Wills, the CEO and medical director of the American Psychiatric Association, recommends taking time alone to reset from situations or conversations that make you uncomfortable.
Fake it till you make it
Some holiday stressors are unavoidable; when faced with them, it is more about how to get through them. There are bound to be situations when you face traffic jams, overcrowded shopping areas or weird family interactions. It can help to relax your face and slightly raise the upper corners of your lips. This will reduce the tension between your brows, relaxing your facial muscles and communicating to your brain that you are okay, clinical psychologist Jenny Taitz, author of “Stress Reset,” said to NPR.
If you are facing a stressful situation, “clenching your hands on the steering wheel and tensing your face, that’s not going to help you accept what is happening,” Taitz said. “But if you can soften your face, you’re more likely to make peace” with your situation.