The beginning of a new year often entices people to take stock of their lives and set resolutions. However, it is rather typical for people to abandon those resolutions, with most leaving them behind within months. That does not mean it is impossible to line up changes and stick to them. It just requires some flexibility and a few other tips for when your motivation slips.
Be realistic and start small
Sometimes when we want to make sweeping changes to our lives, we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves for the new year. The best way to increase your chances of succeeding is to create smaller, more realistic goals. “It’s quite daunting to say that you want to lose 50 pounds and thus, will never eat dessert again,” psychologist Lynn Bufka said to The Associated Press. It may be more helpful to decide “you’re only going to have dessert on the weekends and for special occasions.” Behavioral health experts recommend breaking larger, more ambitious goals into smaller targets. Once you begin knocking out those smaller goals, “the bigger one might not seem so daunting,” said the Associated Press.
Make it a habit
People often fail to keep their resolutions because they do not turn them into habits, author Justin Hale said to CBS News. When people want to do better in the new year, they “never focus on understanding what are the exact behaviors that need to be done to turn into habits, and what’s the plan I’m going to create to make that thing habitual.” The shift requires you to set goals that are “really specific and really clear — really measurable.” Building new sustainable habits for the new year is “less about grit and willpower” and more about “having the right plan to make that new behavior habitual.”
Involve your community to hold you accountable
It may be tempting to keep your goals to yourself, but involving your friends circle and family members can help you build a group of people who can hold you to your goals. “Feel free to include family and friends in your resolution, such as inviting others to go to the gym with you to add an extra layer of accountability,” Julian Lagoy, a psychiatrist, told Real Simple. You should offer to listen to their goals as well, Caroline Leaf, cognitive neuroscientist and author of “Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess,” said to the outlet. “This active communication, as well as encouraging one another, will also help make your goals easier to achieve,” she said.
Stay in tune with yourself
The most important part of keeping your resolutions is keeping true to yourself and what works for you. At its core, keeping your resolutions “isn’t about willpower or accountability partners,” Maha Abouelenein, author of “7 Rules of Self-Reliance,” said at Forbes. “It’s about trusting yourself.”
Building self-reliance is about “cultivating the mindset that you have what it takes to see your goals through and empowers you to ask for help when you need it,” she said. Start small by making a “decision without seeking external validation” or tackling a “challenge using your own resourcefulness.” Every time you rely on yourself, “you’ll build the confidence to take on bigger goals.”
“Change is hard, so don’t expect perfection,” said The Associated Press. You will inevitably have challenges in keeping your resolutions or lose motivation. But you have to give yourself grace. “A great resolution might be, ‘I will be less judgmental with myself,'” Tamara Russell of the British Psychological Society told the outlet.
You should also consider if January is truly a natural start date for change. She said it makes “no sense at all” to pin resolutions to the beginning of the calendar year, especially given that winter is typically a time of hibernation. Spring, a season of renewal, might be a better option for some. Refine what works for you week to week, and “don’t be afraid to adjust and fine-tune what you are doing,” she said. “Study your own behavior like a scientist.”