When I saw the headline on the Sun-Times Opinion page (Dec. 28), “Avoiding discussions about politics with friends and family? Try this approach,” I could not wait to read about the approach. We know that political discussions can strain or even break friendships.
The writer, Rachel Wahl, an associate professor, offered some excellent suggestions on how to deal with individuals who, as she says, “disagree about politics.” I fully agree with her premise: “When people sense that others are sincerely curious about what they think, asking calmly posed, respectful questions, they tend to drop their defenses.” Wahl calls it a “curiosity-based approach.”
I am writing because I sense one major weakness with this approach. It assumes you will be engaging in conversations with rational and somewhat open-minded individuals. Will the curiosity approach work with hard-nosed political positions? We have prominent political figures who deny established truths! They could care less about curiosity!
I would strongly recommend Wahl add to her approach what I call a no-win, no-lose agreement. I have found if you have a working agreement that has been established beforehand, you have a better chance of ending a political discussion without alienating a friendship, even with the most hardened!
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This approach is simple. Before moving into a discussion, agree the discussion will end with no one feeling that he or she has either dominated or gained an advantage. I emphasize no winners, no losers! When an impasse is reached or no progress is being made, either individual can bring the discussion to an end.
This can work for different personalities, including the head-strong. When possible, agreements should be established with family, friends and associates during fair weather times and practiced on a regular basis.
One caution: Whether the approach is curiosity or no-win, no lose or a combination of both, we should make every effort to avoid contentious debates with individuals who won’t agree to honor appropriate established exits. Their purpose is not to have a reasonable debate. Strangely, they gain pleasure from dysfunction and misguided anger.
The former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “I love argument, I love debate. I just don’t expect someone to sit there and listen to me.”
George Comer, Crown Point, Indiana
Carter left a better, kinder world
Former President Jimmy Carter will not escape history as the oldest U.S. president and first centenarian. This legend in his own time led a remarkable life. And whatever he lacked in his presidential term, he more than made up for in his personal life. As an exceptional humanitarian and humble servant of God, Carter cared deeply for others. His tireless work for Habitat for Humanity is Carter’s labor and legacy of love.
After 100 years on this planet, God has other plans for Carter. No doubt, heaven is the next stop where he will be reunited with the love of his life, Rosalynn Carter. May he rest in peace knowing that through his efforts the world is a better and kinder place.
JoAnn Lee Frank, Clearwater
Lessons for the Bears
Bears quarterback Caleb Williams has been sacked 67 times this year, the most by any quarterback. On film day the Bears coaches should put film of the Buffalo Bills offensive line on to show how to block a quarterback, since the Bills quarterback is the least-sacked in the NFL.
Richard Barber, Mount Greenwood
What Chicago used to be
Our recent trip to New York included $6 bottles of Coke, “Highway to Hell’ cab rides and museum visits where the artwork goes on opposite walls from the caption, you figure it out. Still, my wife and I had a good time, except for the constant reminders.
Of what? That Manhattan is what Chicago used to be. Bergdorf Goodman and Bloomingdale’s are Marshall Field’s by any other name, the 28 Shop the way it could have been in 2024. Block after block of high-end stores on Madison Avenue recalled the Gold Coast and the Magnificent Mile. No more.
Cities generate wealth, or did. Chicago grew rich making things and, when America turned post-industrial, the city tried to reinvent itself by providing services. Then something happened, and the financial center that was LaSalle Street stands largely vacant, an “opportunity” for development, the way a bank gives way to a strip mall. If nothing else, Chicago has shown cities cannot prosper by strip malls alone.
Businesses that were once Chicago-based now funnel their profits to New York. (I’m looking at you, Macy’s, and wondering about you, Walgreens.) Chicago-sourced dollars make possible Fifth Avenue glitter. And the fantastically rebuilt LaGuardia, where anyone with time before a flight can buy a sports jacket.
Of course, there’s clothing available for sale in the drab gray of O’Hare. You can buy t-shirts by the dozen.
Douglas Bukowski, Berwyn
Get rid of delta-8 products
I fully support all federal, state and local legislative action to eliminate the use of delta-8, regulated or unregulated. The sooner laws are passed, the sooner people stop getting sick and dying from ingesting this dangerous drug.
And why are the companies that own the legitimate brand names of the products (Pepsico, Mars Inc., Ferrara Candy Co., etc.) where delta-8 is being added to copycat products, not suing to put those making the copycat products out of business? The Food and Drug Administration and Federal Trade Commission have been trying to crack down on the companies making these dangerous copycat products, but more is clearly needed to get the products off store shelves and to put these harm-inducing companies completely out of business.
Margie Stone, Deerfield
Wasting money on a new flag
In reading Kate Washburn’s spread on the Illinois flag, choice No. 896 caught my eye. Though all entries are lovely, this one included “helps save money on an entire new design.” Exactly how much would be saved if there is no change? Consider the difference. My guess would be enough to assist our Illinois farmers. Please be more considerate of my tax dollars. I live in Chicago, where spending mistakes are wreaking havoc on the city’s budget.
I can’t afford to support more bad decisions. If the state has money to burn, then, eliminate the state taxes.
Cindy Mayer, Norwood Park
Wait for Trump’s pardons
I agree with the reader who wrote a letter regarding the pardons President Joe Biden issued (“Pathetic pardons” — Dec. 18). However, the reader is too early for his criticism. Just wait for President-elect Donald Trump’s promised pardons of Jan. 6 convicts. How much money was spent on investigating and convicting of them of their crimes?
John Petersen, Belmont Heights
From Bibi to Joe
The following is a letter I imagine could have been sent from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel to President Joe Biden:
Dear Mr. President: I wish to thank you for your steadfast support over the last 15 months or so. Without the supplies that you sent us, the bombs and missiles and tanks etc., we could never have accomplished all that we have.
There are now hardly any buildings still standing in Gaza, and many of the surviving Arabs are cowering in makeshift tents on the beach. We have made sure they have little food, and hardly any medical supplies, and if they have the gall to complain, why, a few drone attacks soon brings them back in line.
The Gaza authorities, what’s left of them, say we have killed 45,000 people there, but (heh heh) we know it is far more than that. When we hit a high-rise apartment building with one of your wonderful missiles, there are far more bodies under the rubble than on top.
In addition, when we find that a hospital is still operating, treating some Arab brats or a school still teaching the brats how to read and write, we just lob a few of your shells in there, and that takes care of the problem. We say Hamas fighters are sheltering there, and nobody says a word.
Well, the United Nations does, and so does the pope, but who cares about them? Also a few bleeding heart liberals, but we hang the antisemitic label on them, and they pipe down.
At the same time, our settlers in the West Bank have been busy expelling the Arabs from their land and homes, with the backing of our well-armed military. Soon, the whole of so-called Palestine will be ours, as it should have been from the beginning in 1948. On top of that, I think we will be adding parts of Lebanon and Syria to it. And it’s all thanks to you, Joe.
In gratitude, your friend, Bibi.
Dick Page, Naperville
Can Trump follow Abe’s lead?
I wonder, as Donald Trump prepares to deliver his second Inaugural Address, if he studies Abraham Lincoln’s second, given on March 4, 1865.
The Civil War was almost but not quite over. If there ever was a time for revenge and retribution, that was it. The last paragraph of Lincoln’s very short masterpiece begins, “With malice toward none, with charity for all.” :
Perhaps Trump can glean wisdom from Lincoln’s words. I fear, though, what he hears instead is “With malice toward my enemies —anyone who disagrees with me — with charity for all my friends, no matter what they’ve done in support of me.”
I would love to be proven wrong, for Trump to work to bring us together. I fear the opposite. It takes a big person to follow Abe’s lead.
Kevin Coughlin, Evanston
Dreading the coming Trump years
And so, the assault on our democracy begins.
With his opening salvo of suing the Des Moines Register, President-elect Donald Trump has begun his attack on the First Amendment, going after press that do not print favorable stories about him. Coupled with the recent GOP report that Liz Cheney should be criminally charged for investigating Trump’s role in the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol, and a Health Department nominee who wants to “study” the need for the polio vaccine, we see what we have to look forward to in the coming years: A dictator who will use his office not to uplift the country but to further his own ego and wealth.
Peter Felitti, Ravenswood
Looking ahead to success
New Year brings us a new federal government by the vote of the people. Hopefully everyone realizes that success and progress is still the objective and a successful government means successful citizens.
Please don’t forget we are all in this together as the American family, and to wish failure of a president seriously harms us all, both sides of the aisles.
So to all Americans I wish success and happiness in our next administration.
Mike Zaczek, Orland Park