Tiffani Mason knows it takes a village to raise children. And she was lucky to have a network of family and friends nearby when she and her husband, Odell, embarked on the journey of parenting a little over two years ago. As a public health educator, she knew to look for additional resources, too.
After giving birth to her son, Odell IV, she found the Nurturing Parenting Program offered by the Child Abuse Prevention Council for Contra Costa County through First 5 California.
“In the class, they really focus on making sure you take care of yourself,” she said.
Tiffani learned important things about parenting, like the stages of development for her baby’s brain in his first months of life, and age-appropriate expectations as he grew. And the course also taught her skills to improve on her own mental and physical well-being.
“One of the homework assignments that they are required to do every week is to do something for themselves,” said Sonya Smith-Hodge, a class instructor.
The 18-week program gave her one night a week, with childcare and food provided, to focus on herself.
“And it doesn’t cost money,” the second-generation San Pablo resident said.
Tiffani enthusiastically shared what she learned with the rest of her village.
“It’s like gifting your future self,” she said, “when you’re able to care for yourself.”
The first time she took the class, she went with her husband and a friend.
As her son turned into a toddler, she decided to sign up again, this time with her mom, Eleanor, who is providing childcare for Odell and his cousins. Each week, they go to the class together — an intergenerational learning moment.
Eleanor was a working mother when her own children were young, and Tiffani’s aunt did a lot of daily childcare when Tiffani was little. Now Eleanor, who is retired, realized there were things she wanted to learn about caring for her grandchildren.
“It’s beautiful because you’re helping these little minds, directing them in the right way, and letting them know some of you,” Eleanor said.
Tiffani and Eleanor are a great example of who the class is for, said Smith-Hodge, who did a six-month trial run of the class for the Child Abuse Prevention Council over 15 years ago, and continues to teach the classes today.
Some families are referred to the program through other local resources, but anyone with young children who lives in Contra Costa County can enroll.
She does this work because she sees how stressors on parents can affect children.
“When a parent’s need is not met, the child’s need is not met,” she said.
Smith-Hodge points to research that shows that lowering stress for parents lowers the likelihood of abuse or neglect.
“When a family is under direct stress,” she said, “their patience and tolerance is really low.”
That’s why self care is one of the focuses of the classes.
“It’s not being selfish … it’s really being helpful to your children,” Smith-Hodge said. “They’re watching how you handle stress, learning how to take care of themselves, so you are mirroring a positive behavior for them to follow.”
The course is offered in several locations around Contra Costa County, in both Spanish and English. One day a week, the parents and caregivers who attend are provided a meal and childcare for their kids.
“It’s just one day [a week] that I can really just focus on learning and not having to provide,” Tiffani said.
That’s exactly the point, because as Carol Carrillo, executive director of the council knows, “parenting is the hardest job anybody will do.”
That’s why the Child Abuse Prevention Council of Contra Costa County has programs like Nurturing Parenting, one of about half a dozen programs the organization manages.
“There was a need for parent education and support in our community,” said Carrillo, who has seen the organization grow from a few staff in 1999 to over 30 staff now.
With donations to Share the Spirit, the organization plans to give $200 grocery store gift cards to 50 families like Tiffani’s who are enrolled in the Nurturing Parenting classes. The cards will help to alleviate some of the additional stress the holiday season can bring for families struggling financially, especially with increasing grocery bills and the extra costs that come along with the holidays.
“It is cost effective and creates healthier communities to intervene early and provide that support to families,” Carrillo said. “As a healthy community, child abuse is everyone’s responsibility.”
THE SHARE THE SPIRIT SERIES Share the Spirit is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization operated by the East Bay Times, The Mercury News and Bay Area News Group that provides relief, hope and opportunities for East Bay residents by raising money for nonprofit programs in Alameda and Contra Costa Counties.
WISHDonations will help the Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) to purchase $200 grocery gift cards for 50 low-income families at risk of child abuse and neglect during the holiday season to use for a special holiday meal, traditional treats for children, or basic needs. Goal: $10,000
HOW TO GIVE Go to sharethespiriteastbay.org/donate or print and mail in this form.
LEARN MOREFind additional stories at sharethespiriteastbay.org.