“Love is like a stove, it burns you when it’s hot
“Love hurts
“Love hurts” — Boudleaux Bryant
Snap crackle pop.
Rinse. Repeat. Fizzle.
The first act of the admirably bonkers, high-concept action comedy “Novocaine” is so well-paced and so brilliantly executed that I was thinking I might be in the midst of experiencing one of the most entertaining movies of the last few years — but the goodwill from that exhilarating start eventually dissipated as the main gag was recycled ad nauseam. (Not to mention one mid-story twist that lessens our emotional investment in the main characters. What an unfortunate misstep.)
Despite the stylish direction from the duo of Dan Berk and Robert Olsen and winning performances by Jack Quaid and Amber Midthunder, “Novocaine” sputters to the finish line.
Beginning with a clever opening credits sequence set to “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M., we learn that Quaid’s mild-mannered assistant bank manager Nathan Caine has a rare but real disorder known as CIPA (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis), meaning he’s incapable of feeling pain, which at first might sound like quite the gift but is in fact fraught with peril. For one thing, it doesn’t mean Nathan is like a Wolverine or a Deadpool — just because he won’t feel anything if he’s stabbed or struck by a car or breaks an ankle, etc., doesn’t mean he’ll miraculously heal and won’t suffer the consequences.
There’s also this: If Nathan steps on a nail, he won’t know it until he sees his shoe filling with blood. He doesn’t eat solid foods, for fear he’ll bite off his own tongue, and he sets a timer that goes off every three hours to remind him to go to the bathroom, lest his bladder explode.
Nathan has a nice, comfortable life as the assistant manager at a San Diego bank (if San Diego never quite looks like San Diego, that’s because principal photography actually took place in Cape Town, South Africa), but he keeps to himself out of a sense of self-preservation. His only friend is an online gaming buddy named Roscoe (Jacob Batalon), whom he’s never met in person, and it appears he’s never even been on a date until the pretty and spirited and quirky bank teller Sherry (Amber Midthunder) asks him to lunch and then to meet up with him in a bar later that same day.
Nathan and Sherry spend the night together after he explains that he CAN feel some things, ahem, and when Nathan awakens the next morning, our guy is in love, and it’s fantastic. (Quaid and Midthunder are terrific together.)
That’s when things go sideways, in violent and stunning fashion. A trio of bank robbers in Santa Claus outfits (yes, this is a Christmas-set action movie, a la “Die Hard” and “Lethal Weapon”) burst into the bank, kill the manager, take Sherry hostage and gun down a number of police officers before making their escape. Just 24 hours earlier, Sherry had exclaimed, “Oh my God, you’re a superhero!” when Nathan informed her of his condition, and now Nathan springs into action to chase down the bank robbers and rescue Sherry, no matter how much it hurts him. Well, injures him.
This leads to a series of cleverly constructed and gruesomely visceral action sequences, with Nathan sticking his hand in a vat of boiling oil to retrieve a gun, Nathan getting shot and casually extracting the bullet from his arm, Nathan getting punched, Nathan getting tortured by one of the bank robbers and having to pretend he’s in excruciating pain, Nathan getting kicked and beaten, Nathan navigating a booby-trapped house in a scene that plays like a hardcore update on “Home Alone.”
The live-action cartoon vibe continues with Roscoe becoming the Robin to Nathan’s Hit-Me-With-a-Bat-Man, and Betty Gabriel and Matt Walsh as police detectives who are truly terrible at their jobs.
Ray Nicholson, son of Jack Nicholson and Rebecca Broussard, flashes some of his dad’s trademark devilish charm as the psychopathic “mastermind” of the heist, and yes, that means “Novocaine” features two legacy Hollywood actors, given that Jack Quaid’s parents are Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan. (It’s an interesting sidebar, but both second-generation actors are truly talented.)
Jack Quaid has been memorably good in two bat-bleep crazy relationship movies this year (the first was the superior “Companion” with Sophie Thatcher in January), while Amber Midthunder, who was such a badass in the “Predator” prequel “Prey,” does sharp work in two misfires this week: “Opus” and “Novocaine.” I’d love to see Quaid and Midthunder paired up again, maybe in a traditional rom-com or a serious action film. “Novocaine” tries to be both, and while there are moments of inspiration, we’re eventually left feeling, I’m sorry but I have to say it, a bit numb.