DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an older home with just one bathroom. I make sure that all personal products are off the counter when we have guests, but we’ve still had people snoop in the medicine cabinet and in the cupboard under the sink.
My teenaged nephew once commented loudly about the laxatives in the medicine cabinet. Another time, he talked about finding a large box of tampons under the sink.
My sister-in-law, his mother, was angry at me and said we shouldn’t have embarrassing things that guests could find.
Should we be editing our medicine cabinet in case guests snoop?
GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners has heard of a more effective solution, please do not say you got it from her.
The idea is to overload (some might say “booby-trap”) the medicine cabinet before your snooping relatives arrive, so that when it is opened, things come tumbling out.
Alerted by the noise, you can then confront your nephew by asking sympathetically, and publicly, “Noah, dear, what were you looking for? Do you have a problem? Do you need some laxatives?”
Yes, this would take some work on your part. But you need only do it once.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: This year, I sent out Christmas cards as I did last year, to mostly the same group of people.
I didn’t hear back from anyone who received my cards — not a “thank you” or a “Merry Christmas” or anything.
Last year, I received a card back from almost everyone I sent one to; this year, I received one return card out of 30.
I’m really confused by this, and I might not send them out again next year.
GENTLE READER: Indeed, fewer people seem to be sending Christmas cards. But rather than feeling hurt (yes, yes, Miss Manners noticed that you only said “confused”), you should consider some of the reasons.
The idea behind this charming custom was to keep minimally in touch with people one might not otherwise see during the year. True, there were those who distributed cards to everyone they knew, but that could still be charming — especially to those who liked to string the cards across the living room or tuck them into the venetian blinds.
Nowadays, everyone keeps in constant touch — not just with everyone they know, but with as many people as possible whom they don’t know. Perhaps social media posts are mostly people talking about themselves, rather than greeting others, but so are many Christmas cards and letters.
In considering what to do next year, you might want to return to the basic standard of greetings. If the people on your list touch base with you in other ways during the year, they want to keep up the contact and likely appreciate your cards — even if they don’t send cards themselves.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.