SAN ANTONIO — Cam Ward opted out of the second half. Ralphie VI opted out during pregame.
Turns out the young girl had the right idea all along.
The best mascot in America wanted no part of the 2024 Alamo Bowl. At all. The young bison left her pen at a mild, disinterested jog, lollygagged to the 39-yard line and only picked up the pace when her trailer — the portal home, away from all of this — was clearly in sight.
If she were a tight end or a linebacker, Coach Prime might kindly suggest her future would be better served elsewhere.
Just as Saturday night might be better left unsaid.
BYU (11-2) showed up saltier than a San Antone margarita. The Buffs showed up in name only. CU got drubbed by its new Big 12 brethren, 36-14, for the program’s third blowout loss at this building over the last eight years.
How bad was it? By the end of the third quarter, the 23rd-ranked Buffs (9-4) had managed just 120 yards of total offense. And Heisman Trophy winner Travis Hunter accounted for 103 of them. On just three touches.
How bad was it? CU got fooled by an onside kick, then outrun for a score on a BYU punt return.
How bad was it? Hunter was visibly raging at his teammates early, shades of that lost weekend in Lincoln.
How bad was it? Even the coaches looked asleep at the wheel. With 24 seconds left in the first half, down 17-0, CU forced the Cougars into a third-and-16 at the Buffs 48 but let the clock run instead of using any of their three timeouts.
BYU coach Kalani Sitake didn’t hesitate, firing off one to stop the clock with 24 seconds, then another on fourth-and-4 at the CU 36 with two seconds to go to set up Will Ferrin’s 54-yard field goal as time expired, handing a listless CU roster a 20-0 halftime deficit. And a fitting, if anticlimactic end, to the worst Buffs first half since the 7-6 Cornhuskers took them out behind every woodshed in eastern Nebraska.
The BYU offense actually opened the tilt in all kinds of torpor: Incomplete, incomplete, false start, run, punt.
Then it got weird. Like David Lynch weird. M. Night Shyamalan weird.
BYU caught the Buffs flat-footed with an onside kick late in the first quarter. The Cougars blew the second stanza completely open with a 64-yard punt return for a score 5:32 before halftime to make it 16-0.
It was Kansas, with little dashes of Nebraska thrown in. The Buffs, one of the fastest teams in America, came out slow and surprised. BYU, second in clicks and second in America’s heart all week, emptied the tank with a grudge.
The Cougars played loose, free, physical, and with nothing to lose. The Buffs opened tight, with one eye on the scoreboard and another on the pro days to come.
To be fair, the Buffs should’ve been down four scores before halftime. And they would’ve, if not for the CU defense notching timely takeaways with their backs against the wall — cornerback D.J. McKinney with a pick off a jump ball at the Colorado 5, and defensive tackle Anquin Barnes stealing a Cougars shovel pass at the Buffs 20.
Sitake spotted CU’s soft underbelly — inside linebacker — and grabbed a roll of fat, twisting like there was no tomorrow. Speed option left. Speed option right. BYU committed to running the Buffs’ linebackers ragged, piling up 48 yards over its opening 10 carries and putting up 66 by the break. Come back, Nikhail Hill-Green. All is forgiven.
In MMA terms, Sitake judiciously realized that playing stand-up — as in, trying to match CU in a pass-for-pass battle against Sanders and Hunter, Horn, etc. — was a fool’s errand. So like K-State and KU before them, the Cougars got the Buffs on the ground, metaphorically and literally. And got out the hammer fists.
CU’s inaugural drive opened with swagger but slowed to an inauspicious end, as a fourth-and-1 pass from Sanders at the BYU 48 to an open Will Sheppard went wide of the mark. That gave the Cougars the ball at midfield.
Sitake seized the moment by unleashing his EA Sports “College Football 25” playbook from there. On third-and-5, Retzlaff hit L1 on the option pitch, feeding LJ Martin for 7 yards to the Buffs 40.
On the next play, Retzlaff found Martin on a pass to the right flat for a 27-yard gain. In keeping with the video-game theme, the Cougs followed that up with a QB run for 11 yards to the 1, then capped the drive with Martin up the gut for a 6-0 lead.
BYU kept its foot to the metal of that little blue clown car, turning a short CU punt at midfield into a 51-yard field goal make and a 10-0 cushion. Even when Sitake pushed cute a little too far, the Buffs couldn’t sustain a darn thing early. Other than frustration.
CU fans turned up, and turned up loud. But by the fourth quarter, when business decisions had to be made, most had followed Ralphie’s lead, streaming back to the River Walk, wondering how a Texas sunset could burn so badly.
Want more sports news? Sign up for the Sports Omelette to get all our analysis on Denver’s teams.