In a lengthy interview with Interview Magazine, Jennifer Lopez discussed love, pain, and whether she’s dating again.
The answer to the latter is that she’s not planning to any time soon, Interview reported.
“Now, it sounds to me like you have a new bar for the next person that comes along,” interviewer Nikki Glaser asked Lopez in the October 9 piece.
“Here’s the thing: There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody. How’s that?” Lopez responded.
The interview was Lopez’s first lengthy sitdown interview since she filed for divorce from her estranged husband Ben Affleck on August 20, after two years of marriage. According to TMZ, she dated their separation to April 26 and is not seeking spousal support. Lopez, who has been married four times, opened up to Glaser about her feelings on love and relationships. She stressed that she is trying to learn the importance of being alone and loving herself.
That’s a motif that Lopez has been exploring for some time. Her documentary, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” dealt with some of the same themes, tracing her insecurities to a childhood in which she felt ignored.
Jennifer Lopez Explained That ‘Being in a Relationship Doesn’t Define Me’
GettyJennifer Lopez.
According to Lopez in the interview, “. . . When your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, ‘How do I not ever let that happen again?’ And then you start examining it little by little saying, ‘Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this was what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at.’ Those things are what really are the lessons.”
She told Interview that she is trying to be okay with being alone.
“Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, ‘No, I’m actually good,’” she told the magazine.
Lopez also discussed her ideas of love.
“That, to me, is a scary thing too, or a confusing thing, because it’s like, ‘Oh, you couldn’t love me if I have flaws. I have to be perfect to be loved.’ That’s not true! Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself,” she said to Interview.
“That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries,” Lopez said. “And I go, ‘Here’s where you’re falling short for me, and here’s where I’m falling short for you.’ And so, we get better at those things together.”
Jennifer Lopez Told the Interviewer That She Has Spent Her Life ‘Proving My Enoughness’
GettyJennifer Lopez.
In the interview, Lopez discussed her childhood and how it has affected her adult life.
“My whole life has been proving my enoughness,” she told Interview. “Dealing with feeling like you’re enough, from when you’re very young, is something that you don’t figure out for a long time because you’re not looking at yourself like that. Something is driving you and your decisions and you don’t know why. You start going, ‘Wait a minute, what the fuck is going on here?’”
Although she said she loves her parents, she told Interview, “It was just being ignored, being a middle child, having a very outgoing mom and a dad who worked all day and worked all night and feeling like you weren’t important, like you weren’t a priority.”
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