Dear Ismael,
My dad was in a motorcycle accident last week and he fractured his ribs, so I’ve been taking care of him with the help of my mom. I was under stress at work because of deadlines and stuff even before the accident, but I think this just added more anxiety to my overall general anxiety, so I was fully intending on quitting on Friday because I hit a breaking point.
My parents talked me out of it and told me to take FMLA instead because I’ve basically been helping with all his needs and transportation anyway. So we went to the doctor this morning and they suggested three weeks off, but ultimately it’s up to human resources and if they want to agree to that. But I don’t know. I still want to quit anyway because I’m realizing I actually hate my job and I’m just not happy.
I have enough savings where I can be OK without a job for a few months. So I got really excited about the notion of quitting and checking into a mental health facility to heal from some past traumas because I’m seeing a pattern where I work and work until I’m really stressed out and can’t deal with it. The only thing I’m worried about is leaving my team in a bad spot, but I feel like I already am by taking these few weeks off anyway. So should I address my anxiety and quit right now? Or should I continue working through the holidays and figure it out?
— Give Me a Break in Logan Square
Dear Give Me a Break,
I’m sorry about what happened with your dad, and how your professional life doesn’t allow you peace of mind to step away when your family needs you the most. But I’m not worried about you.
You have all the answers to what you need, or at least your body and mind are telling you what you need — a break — and hope you listen to them.
And look, I appreciate your parents looking out for you and telling you to push through. Sometimes we need people to keep us grounded at times when we feel out of balance. But don’t listen to them.
This isn’t the first time you’ve gone through this anxiety with work, and the times you’ve pushed through didn’t make anything better because you’re back here again. Listen to yourself, take advantage of the resources you have available and break out of this cycle of burning out at work.
I love that you are open to a mental health facility. Do your research and go see a doctor to see what they recommend for the next steps to be.
Doctor support and approval will also help lessen inner guilt, whether it’s taking a long period of time off work or leaving a job that isn’t good for your health. If the doctor doesn’t exactly recommend a mental health facility, they could recommend another avenue to explore.
Either way, if you’re not happy at your job and it’s getting to you, use that money you have saved up and take a breather. That’s what it’s there for.
When we refuse to listen to the signs that tell us to slow down, the universe intervenes and it’s not always pretty.
I had a mental health crisis early this year and felt unsure about asking for time off. And then I also fell off my diabetes medication. It wasn’t until I got hit by a car that I was forced into a doctor’s office to address all that (plus the broken bones) throughout a recommended three-month recovery.
Maybe your dad’s accident, while scary and unfortunate, was your moment to stop, look at where you are (again) and determine where you want to go from there.
Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.