DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been feeling conflicted about whether I should move forward with therapy.
There are so many things I need to work through mentally and emotionally. I feel overwhelmed, and it’s becoming clear that I could benefit from having a professional to talk to and help guide me.
I’ve heard so many positive things about how therapy can improve not just mental health but overall well-being, and I think it might be the right step for me.
On the other hand, I’m stressed about the logistics of starting therapy.
I’m still on my parents’ health insurance plan, and I’m worried about how well therapy will be covered. I’m not in a position to pay for it completely out of pocket, but at the same time, I don’t want my parents to find out that I’m seeking help.
It’s not that they wouldn’t necessarily support me, but they’re not the kind of people I feel comfortable opening up to about these things. Talking about mental health isn’t something we’ve ever really done in my family, and I don’t think they would understand why I feel the need to go to therapy.
How can I make the best decision for myself without letting these fears hold me back?
— Need Therapy
DEAR NEED THERAPY: Look for clinics in your area that may offer free or deeply discounted therapy where you won’t need insurance. Or look for in-network therapists who take your insurance but don’t require additional co-pays.
Ultimately, it may be worth it to tell your parents about therapy if you can’t find another alternative. It can be a lifesaver.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is currently visiting his family in South Africa, and ever since he got there, he’s stopped calling and texting me regularly.
Normally, he’s a great communicator, and we talk and text throughout the day, so this sudden change has caught me off guard.
I understand that we’re in different time zones right now, and I know he’s likely busy spending time with his family, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I were a genuine priority, he would still make an effort to call or text me, even just a quick message to check in.
The few times we’ve communicated during his trip have mostly been because I’ve initiated contact. While he’ll respond, it’s not with the same enthusiasm as before. This has made me feel desperate and clingy, and I hate feeling this way.
I don’t want to be that person who constantly needs reassurance or feels like they’re chasing their partner for attention, but I can’t help but wonder if this is a red flag in our relationship or if I’m overthinking the situation.
Is it fair to expect him to maintain the same level of communication while he’s abroad, or am I being unreasonable? How do I approach this without coming across as overly needy or insecure?
— Missing Him
DEAR MISSING HIM: Calm down and do nothing.
Rather than doubting everything about your relationship, believe that he is legitimately busy.
When he comes back, listen to what he shares about his trip. Then let him know that you missed him a lot and wished that he had kept in touch better.
Ask him to make the effort to stay connected if he ever goes away again because that is important to you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.