DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently came across a set of old photographs tucked away in boxes in the garage.
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One of them shows my mom wearing a tight-fitting top, standing alongside my dad. The date on the back of the picture reads Feb. 17, 1998. In the photo, my mom has her signature skinny physique. I was born on March 16, 1998, and she definitely doesn’t appear to be eight months pregnant in the photo.
I am afraid to ask her about it, because I may not like the truth. What should I do?
— Mom’s Pictures
DEAR MOM’S PICTURES: By all means, show the photograph to your mother.
Ask her if she remembers it. Listen for her answer. Then point out the date.
Tell her this discovery got you to thinking about the timing and how it doesn’t make sense that you were born a month later when she doesn’t look pregnant in the shot. Ask her to explain.
This will surely open a door to a discussion that will be enlightening at the very least.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bartender, and I have a colleague I work with about four times a week. He is a nice guy, and we generally get along well, but there are some aspects of his behavior and work ethic that are becoming increasingly difficult for me to handle.
While he is friendly and personable with customers, he often lacks the professionalism needed in our line of work.
He frequently arrives late for his shifts, leaving me to handle the early rush on my own. This not only adds to my stress, but it also disrupts the flow of our service. When he finally does arrive, he tends to be unprepared and disorganized, which affects the efficiency of our team.
He also forgets about the basics of drink preparation and customer service. This results in a less-than-great experience for our customers and more work for me when I have to cover for his errors to ensure that our customers leave satisfied.
Our boss doesn’t want to fire him because the bar is struggling to find workers. Should I try to work through this situation, or should I quit and find a new job?
— Work Ethics
DEAR WORK ETHICS: If competent employees are at a premium in your business, you should not have a problem finding a new job. That doesn’t mean, of course, that you won’t run into a similar situation somewhere else.
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Before you look for something new, talk to your boss. Detail what your experience is like working with this guy. As much as you like him as a person, his nonchalance and unprofessionalism are making it much harder for you to do your job and to ensure that the business does well.
Give examples of customer dissatisfaction that have arisen as a result of this man’s incompetence. Urge your boss to look for a replacement for him.
If you are at your wit’s end, tell your boss that if things don’t change, you will be forced to find a new job. You do not want to bear the burden of cleaning up your co-worker’s messes.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.