DEAR HARRIETTE: My guilty pleasure is watching facials on YouTube, often when I’m supposed to be working. I just love watching pimple extractions and other services that probably seem gross to other people.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: She’s afraid of what people will say about her divorce
Harriette Cole: I subtly mentioned my bedroom idea, and my boyfriend hates it
Harriette Cole: Why should the bride’s friend have to scrimp for months?
Harriette Cole: I got slammed on TikTok for the cookie dough in my child’s lunchbox
Harriette Cole: I’m starting to suspect my new husband is just after my money
I have a friend who says she is addicted to watching kitchen demolitions, and I often catch my husband watching videos about yachts that he could never afford or aliens that he worries are taking over the world.
My point is that people seem to spend their time distracted by some weird stuff. Is this unhealthy? It really does sometimes seem like an addiction. How can I curb this habit?
— Guilty Pleasures
DEAR GUILTY PLEASURES: We can add video games and binge-watching TV series to the list of things many people do obsessively. If you believe that your obsession is eating up too much of your time, that’s when it is a problem.
Take action by setting a timer on your phone to remind you that after a designated period of time, you need to turn off the videos. Many smart devices can be set to turn those activities off and lock them until the next day.
Set alarms for other tasks and responsibilities if that will aid in getting things done. Create hours when you agree to be device-free and take on other hobbies. Train yourself out of your addiction.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My in-laws’ 55th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, but unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away last year, so this will be my mother-in-law’s first anniversary without him.
It’s been a tough year for her. She misses her husband, and their relationship was the foundation of her life.
I know this day is going to be especially hard for her, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I might be able to support her during this time.
To be honest, my mother-in-law and I haven’t always had the smoothest relationship. Over the years, we’ve had our share of differences, and it hasn’t always been easy to get along. But despite the ups and downs, I want to do something meaningful for her because I know how much she’s grieving. I’m just not sure of the best way to approach this, given our complicated history.
I don’t want to overstep or make her uncomfortable, but at the same time, I feel like doing something special could help her feel loved and supported, especially on such a difficult day.
Do you think it’s a good idea to plan something for her, or should I be more hands-off and let her grieve in her own way?
— Honoring My Mother-in-Law
DEAR HONORING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW: Start with your partner. Ask for their thoughts on how to be there for their mother at this tender time.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: My partner is overly committed to the dog-related feud
Dear Abby: I had no problem with my guests’ dog until bedtime
Asking Eric: My aunt now claims she can’t remember the family secret
Harriette Cole: She’s afraid of what people will say about her divorce
Miss Manners: I’m ashamed to be seen with them in the movie theater
Perhaps hosting a small dinner for her with close family would be appropriate. In an intimate setting, she may feel comfortable reminiscing about her husband. You can invite guests to think in advance of stories they would like to share about him, about the two of them or their own relationships with him.
If you design a gathering that honors her and her memories, she may appreciate the gesture.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.