College football is the most exciting, dynamic thing around. And we’re not talking about the games.
Those are fun. But it’s the business of college football that’s really entertaining.
At the low end of pay, we’ve got Oklahoma State strength coach Rob Glass making $1 million a year. Actually, that’s the high end for college muscle guys. After all, these are just glorified gym teachers. Glass even has a title to match his eminence: assistant athletic director for speed, strength and conditioning. (Seeing as how the Cowboys just lost four in a row to Utah, Kansas State, West Virginia and BYU, something seems a tad weak out there in Stillwater.)
But for the headmen, the money really flows.
Just about everybody in the FBS makes at least a million a year.
Sam Pittman at Arkansas, Hugh Freeze at Auburn and Mike Elko at Texas A&M make more than $6 million. Wisconsin’s Luke Fickell makes $7.7 million. So do Washington’s Jedd Fisch and Miami’s Mario Cristobal. Penn State’s James Franklin makes $8.5 million.
Then we get to the big daddies: Josh Heupel at Tennessee, $9 million; Eliah Drinkwitz at Missouri, $9 million; Lane Kiffin at Mississippi, $9 million; Mark Stoops at Kentucky, $9 million. Even bigger are the $10 million dudes: Alabama’s Kalen DeBoer, Florida State’s Mike Norvell, LSU’s Brian Kelly, USC’s Lincoln Riley, Texas’ Steve Sarkisian (who makes a tad more at $10.6 million).
Finally, there’s the royal court: endlessly complaining Dabo Swinney ($11.1 million) of Clemson and king for the day Kirby Smart ($13.3 million) of Georgia.
It’s not just the pay that’s fantastic for the whistle-tooters. It’s also the buyouts they’re owed if they get fired before their contracts are up. According to a USA Today survey, 29 public school coaches would be owed at least $20 million if they were fired without cause (meaning they weren’t guilty of moral turpitude or crimes, just losing too many games).
Fisch and Fickell would get $40 million if fired, Stoops $44 million, Nebraska’s Matt Rhule $56 million, Swinney $60 million, Kelly $62 million, DeBoer $70 million and — ta-da! — top o’ the heap Smart $118 million.
It almost seems to this scribe that a crafty fellow might lose some big games just to get fired and reap the benefits.
I said earlier that Swinney is always complaining. Much of it stems from his outrage over the mere thought of college players — amateurs, by God! — getting paid. Well, suck it up, Dabo, because they are. Name, image and likeness money for players has been legal since 2021, thanks to the Supreme Court (not Alabama or Florida State).
The going price for a quality transfer-portal quarterback, according to some coaches, is $1 million to $2 million, up to $6 million if the guy is championship-caliber. Great wide receivers are alleged to be in the $750,000 range. Everybody from running backs to linemen can make more than $200,000 a year if they work it right.
UNLV portal quarterback Matt Sluka quit this season after leading his team to a 3-0 start. Why? He claims he wasn’t getting the NIL money he was promised. Please don’t ever sing that college-football-players-are-here-for-an-education song again, folks. They may want to study and learn. But they’re age-group pros playing football first and foremost.
Think about it. When was the last time a star halfback or linebacker was suspended for failing a midterm? Does anybody really care about grade-point averages? When it’s fourth-and-goal and the game is on the line? Ha.
Which brings us to the really big boys, the conferences that basically control the billion-dollar business of college football. That would be the Big Ten and the Southeastern Conference.
Combined they have 34 of the best-known, most supported teams, spanning from the Pacific to the Atlantic, Texas to Minnesota, Florida to Washington. They make the most money from TV and attendance deals, they have history and alumni numbers on their side and they have the rest of the 134 FBS teams by the throats.
Called ‘‘mob bosses’’ by USA Today football columnist Blake Toppmeyer, the two conference commissioners — Greg Sankey (SEC) and Tony Petitti (Big Ten) — can essentially control the playoff, TV money and championship payouts by getting all the best players and coaches and squashing the other conferences into irrelevance. And they might do it.
There’s no more phony talk about idealism in college football. No more blabber about proximity and shared values and education.
It’s about winning and making money.
It’s about America.