DEAR ABBY: We share a vacation home with another family. My husband and I are neat people. The other family is the opposite. They leave dirty dishes in the sink for days, promising, “I’ll get to them.” Dirty diapers are left on the living room floor as well as toys, clothes and stale food. It’s disgusting.
My husband and I clean up after them, but it’s gotten out of hand. We can’t invite friends over unless we spend hours cleaning up after them. I don’t want to cause tension between families, but something has to be done. How do we confront them? — NEATNIK IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR NEATNIK: Dirty dishes are annoying. Dirty diapers left on the living room floor are a health hazard. You are not going to change these slobs. You didn’t mention whether you rent or own this vacation home. If you own it, sell your half and get out of there. If you rent, reconsider your choice of getaways, because this is making your vacation anything but a vacation.
DEAR ABBY: I am a woman with several health issues. After a fall last year, I now use a wheelchair and need assistance with everyday activities. My 36-year-old daughter lives with me (she broke up with her boyfriend). Now she is my home attendant.
My daughter feels that her two brothers should also help with my care. They both have jobs. I think that if she’s living rent-free in my home and receiving a salary to take care of me, she shouldn’t expect them to do more. They take me grocery shopping. She wants them to come over, throw out the trash and clean the cat litter box. Is she right? — NEEDING HELP IN NEW YORK
DEAR NEEDING HELP: It is possible that your daughter is doing as much as she can in assisting you. Throwing out the trash and cleaning the cat litter box once a week would give your sons a chance to visit with you and, perhaps, give her an hour or so to do some things for herself. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 74-year-old woman, married 52 years, raising our 8-year-old great-granddaughter, whom we have adopted. Our lives are full of adventure and learning. I have the desire to earn a college degree and now have the opportunity and resources to do so. My husband is fully onboard.
I would like to study special education. I have no idea if this would be a professional pursuit or simply gaining knowledge, as our child is a special needs child. Am I crazy to pursue this? My social life with friends may change because of the constraints of time and energy in study. — FUTURE STUDENT IN IOWA
DEAR STUDENT: You appear to be fully aware of the sacrifices you will have to make to reach your goal. True friends will understand your absence, which is only temporary. I applaud your desire to complete your education in a field that will help your great-granddaughter to succeed, and I wish you luck in your endeavor.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)