It was a week of living utopiously. In football utopia. In the City of Eden.
Chicago’s introduction to Ben Johnson as the Bears’ savior-in-chief — a k a: head coach — seemed more coronation than filling the team’s latest coaching vacancy. Pomp and circumstance and ceremony on Dimethyltrienolone. A vibe unmatched by any hire (not draft or free-agent signing) since . . . well, since.
We’ve had this optimism before circumferencing the Bears, but not exactly like this. This, over the course of the week, at times felt more like the beginning of an exorcism to remove all football evil from our winningless spiritualities. Rumors soon turned into confirmation. Confirmation turned into credence. Then the takes started rolling in.
Days 1 and 2:
“This was the only hire the Bears had. This was the name that was going to settle their fan base down.” — Jeff Saturday on ‘‘Get Up’’
“[Bears] ownership is changing. This is the latest sign that ownership is changing — they’re doing what they need to do.” — Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk
“We all think the Chicago Bears’ organization is [bleep]. . . . It just seems like it’s a bit of a [bleep] show. . . . So whenever we hear Ben Johnson, we think back to last year when Ben Johnson was like, ‘I’m going to be very picky about where I go.’ ” — Pat McAfee on his show
“I think he’s a once-in-a-generation kind of coach. They don’t come around very often like him. [The Bears] got this one right.” — Mike Martz on The Score’s “Spiegel & Holmes”
“Shocked . . . impressed . . . daresay proud . . . very excited. George McCaskey just won a beauty contest against Tom Brady. Scoreboard, look at it: McCaskey 1, Brady 0.’’ — Kyle Brandt on ‘‘Good Morning Football’’
“On paper, the guy who said ‘No thanks’ to jobs in the past and chose not to even interview [during] this candidate process, I think it’s a major win for him to say, ‘I want the Bears.’ ” — Peter Schrager on ‘‘Good Morning Football’’
“This is exactly where we want to be.” — Johnson at the Bears’ welcoming reception at Halas Hall
The news-conference day:
“Ryan [Poles] said, ‘This is the guy we want.’ I said, ‘Go get him.’ ” — George McCaskey
“This move bought so many people capital.” — Leila Rahimi on “Spiegel & Holmes”
“They got the hottest head-coaching commodity on the market.” — Big Anthony Herron on “Spiegel & Holmes”
“It’s actually surprising [that the Bears] did what they were supposed to do!” — Adam Abdalla on ESPN 1000’s “Bleck & Abdalla’’
“I hope, we all are hoping in Chicago, this time’s different.” — Michael Wilbon on ‘‘PTI’’
“Bear down, baby!” — Johnson, sign-off on ESPN 1000’s ‘‘Carmen and Jurko’’
The days after:
“And just like that, the boldness and naivete returned, unbidden. A Johnson-[Caleb] Williams collaboration — might that be Bears-proof?” — Rick Morrissey in the Sun-Times
“There’s no reason for anyone to think Johnson was dissing [Matt] LaFleur or the Packers. . . . Johnson was simply stating a fact.” — Bleacher Report’s Adam Wells
“I ranked the Bears as the best coaching job on the market primarily because of Williams and his upside. It’s clear Johnson agrees, and it should make Midway football enthusiasts extremely optimistic for the future of the franchise.” — Will Brinson for CBSSports.com
“I wanted to take the hard road. That’s really been the story of my career. I’ve taken the long way, the hard way, and it’s played a huge role in [me] wanting to stay in this division. So does it give me a leg up? I don’t think so. The only way we make some noise here is if we do things the right way, which is through hard work and sacrifice.” — Johnson on ‘‘First Take’’
Today:
We pray.
His presence, called “empowering.” He told his players to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable,” followed by “the bar is set the highest it’s ever been.” His hiring called “deliberate” and “intentional” moves by the Bears’ front office. Some whispered “brilliant.”
His coach-speak seemed earnest, authentic to him, yet not threatening or confrontational or overconfident; anti-Dan Campbell. There seemed to be a lack of insecurity inside of Johnson; anti-Matt Eberflus. Something Bears fans aren’t used to seeing, part of the reason some (me, specifically) were openly suggesting someone with previous HC experience cap the void. To cleanse the paranoid.
Analytics? Advanced football intellect? Accountability over everything? QB-first, but not-only-QB thinking? No longer fear of risk and downfield plays? Unquestioned trust? Competence? All boxes unchecked this week. But all of us walking around with Sharpies in hand hovering over imaginary squares.
Yet there he stood, here he stands. Before us, for us, for our time being. A week of him. With “clear communications, structure and expectations” his priorities; making the “same things look different and different things look the same” his mission. The walking actualization for this city of “the past is in your head; the future is in your hands” psalm.
So in honor of the name, his 16th-17th century namesake (Ben Jonson, close enough), these words: The devil is an ass. And let’s hope that finally, for a while, upon Johnson’s grand arrival and seemingly ubiquitous approval, that devil stays the hell outta Chicago.