The fear of being alone will make having no one to share big moments with seem like the worst possible scenario. It’s a crippling, dark feeling that manipulates us into bullying and limiting our free spirit by making us dependent on others whenever we want to seek out anything that brings us joy.
We don’t like to admit it but we see it whenever we question and cringe when people go watch a movie alone, go dance at a concert alone or simply go have dinner alone. Those fears are only amplified when you add travel and distance from your reliable social circle to the mix.
I’m here to help you break from the chains that keep us from experiencing happiness on our own, especially when it comes to solo travel — something I’ve done a couple of times and plan to keep doing after fantastic experiences.
Build the most selfish itinerary you can think of
I counter the “how could you do anything by yourself” sentiment by asking: “Have you ever realized how much people get in the way when you’re trying to make plans?”
What activity? What place? What time? With solo travel, the only person’s preference, comfort and convenience you have to worry about is your own. You’re in control of what experience you want and when.
If you’re into cars, bugs, rocks — don’t hesitate, indulge in your interests and put them on your list.
A little warning, though: double-check times and dates for each event you book.
In Rome, I was excited to experience my very first Italian opera (IN ITALY!). When I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my “next day” ticket, I was sad to realize I slept through the show.
Add a dash of spontaneity to the trip
Which leads me to this next tip: Last-minute additions can be fun, and can even be cheaper than booking in advance.
When I found myself with nothing to do after my opera absence, I searched TripAdvisor.com for events happening that day. A half-off morning cooking class popped up, where you eat what you cook and drink unlimited wine.
Cooking was not on my original plan, but the class was a highlight of my trip. I left with a nice buzz, new skills and memories with people from Brazil, Australia, South Korea and France.
Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you can’t be social
Yes, when you think of the appeal of solo travel and self-growth, you don’t think of others being involved in the process. But you can still mingle!
There are cooking classes, neighborhood food tours, hiking groups, wine tasting tours — activities that mix people from various backgrounds with the same interests together.
This should help ease the nerves of people who view the solo traveling experience as something that’s done in complete isolation.
Look after yourself
Lastly, it’s obvious, but don’t forget you’re on your own.
I’ve heard people say how public transportation in Europe is basically free because people rarely check if you have a ticket. As someone made paranoid by true crime stories, I suggest you pay up those two euros for that bus. Leave a trail for officials to follow, just in case.
Also, as someone whose phone battery was on 5% during a day trip to Florence, I advise bringing a reliable and fully charged portable charger. I was smart enough to go to a McDonald’s where I charged my phone, but a portable charger would have helped with the stress.
Solo travel can be intimidating for various reasons, but I would argue being anti-solo travel is essentially being anti-you. You’re entitled to feed your passions and interests whether others support it or not. The world is lonelier when even you don’t have your back.
Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.