I wasn’t even going to write about this at first, because in the grander scope of things, who gives a crap about whatever Melania Trump is doing? But we deserve superficial stories about how these people are awful too, so enjoy. The photo above is Melania Trump’s new “official portrait” as FLOTUS. It’s hilariously terrible and it’s so Photoshopped, it looks like bad AI. At first I thought “sure, it’s hideous, but what’s the story?” Thankfully, Page Six amplified it: Vogue Magazine ripped Ol’ Mel to shreds. No, Melania is not getting a Vogue cover any time soon. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, except that’s what she desperately wants and that’s what all of MAGAvilla wants for their Eva Braun.
The White House has unveiled first lady Melania Trump’s official portrait. The sober black-and-white photograph by Régine Mahaux features Trump, the Washington Monument towering over her shoulder, resting her fingers on a reflective black desk and staring down the camera as if to say, “You’re fired.” Indeed, Trump looked more like she was guest starring on an episode of The Apprentice than assuming the role of first lady of the United States.
Trump’s clothing certainly didn’t help the boardroom pastiche. The first lady wore a black Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo jacket with satin-trimmed lapels over a white button-up, which she paired with a Ralph Lauren cummerbund and trousers. The choice to wear a tuxedo—as opposed to a blazer or blouse—made Trump look more like a freelance magician than a public servant. It’s perhaps unsurprising that a woman who lived in a gold-encrusted penthouse, whose fame is so intertwined with a reality-television empire, would refuse to abandon theatrics—even when faced with 248 years of tradition.
The photograph is noticeably more toned down than her 2017 White House portrait, also taken by Mahaux. Unlike the new black-and-white image, Trump’s first portrait was in color, featuring the first lady—face airbrushed into oblivion—wide-eyed, smiling with a hint of teeth, her arms crossed to display a massive diamond wedding ring. This time, while the portrait remains more subdued, the Trumps are displaying wealth not through diamond rings but through the coterie of tech CEOs who sat in the front row at the 2025 inauguration, whose combined net worth was over a trillion dollars.
Trump regularly sends messages with her clothing choices. In 2018, en route to visit children (some of whom were separated from their parents by the Trump administration) held in a migrant detention center in McAllen, Texas, the first lady wore a Zara jacket with the message “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” emblazoned on the back. She also earned criticism for the pink pussy-bow blouse she wore to a debate between her husband and Hillary Clinton in 2016 after his infamous “grab ’em by the p-ssy” tape was released. Now, attempting a no-nonsense businesswoman approach in her situationally inappropriate tuxedo, it seems that Melania Trump still struggles with sartorial messaging.
“Made Trump look more like a freelance magician than a public servant” and “it seems that Melania Trump still struggles with sartorial messaging.” This happened during the first Trump administration too, when outlets like the NY Times, the Washington Post and CNN were supplicating and capitulating to power, there were fashion magazines and women’s magazines who were openly contemptuous of all things Trump, even the tacky Trump aesthetics. This was a small signal, in case anyone needed it, that Anna Wintour DGAF and Vogue will not bow to these f–kers.
Photos courtesy of the White House & Cover Images.
