For the third time in four years, people are trying to say that Prince William “won” a sexiest bald man competition. The first time was in 2021, and it was based on Google searches and sponsored by a cosmetic surgery group. The second time Huevo was named the sexiest bald man, it was last year and it was also based on flawed methodology, as they tried to argue that people were constantly google-searching “William bald sexy shirtless handsome.” While I don’t doubt that William employs a full-time intern (perhaps some wiglet-wearing gopher???) to spend eight hours a day rigging the Google results, I still fail to understand how Mark Strong, Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson aren’t winning every sexy bald man contest out there.
Prince William has been named the world’s sexiest bald man for two consecutive years, after the royal recently debuted a more rugged look that left fans gushing over his facial hair. A new study placed the Prince of Wales, 42, ahead of contenders such as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Stanley Tucci, Thierry Henry, and Vin Diesel – as the future King of Britain retained his crown as the hottest man without hair in 2024.
The study ranked some of the world’s most famous bald men based on different factors including how shiny their heads are, their facial golden ratio, height, and smile – and William earned a near-perfect score.
The research compiled by PR agency Reboot Online also tracked media perception and ‘sexy’ global search interest, with William’s recent appearances in South Africa for the Earthshot initiative likely to have sent fan queries about him soaring.
This isn’t William’s first time being recognised as the world’s dishiest bald man; after securing the top spot in 2021, he slipped to second place in 2022, before reclaiming his title in 2023. This year, he scored an impressive 9.9 out of a possible total of 10 points based on the shininess of his scalp, his smile and facial proportions.
Right behind William, Hollywood superstar Dwayne Johnson climbed to the second spot – after being placed seventh on 2023’s list, with a score of 8.9 out of 10. American basketball star Shaquille O’Neal broke into the top three, after he was ranked as the ninth best-looking bald man in 2023. Professional surfer Kelly Slater, who was recently spotted catching waves with Prince Harry in California, came in at the fourth position – earning high scores for his golden ratio, the sheen of his scalp, and smile. Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews and 79-year-old Taxi star Danny DeVito ranked fifth and sixth respectively, with Samuel L Jackson, former Arsenal superstar Henry, and The Hunger Games actor Tucci rounding out the list. Vin Diesel dropped to the last place, after earning the top spot in 2022 – notably beating William that year.
Rigged! Jason Statham didn’t even make the top ten?? Ridiculous. Anyway, my annual reminder – I have nothing against bald men, bald men can be great-looking. But William looks like the wrath of god. Especially this year – he looks like he crawled out of a bottle, and his facial hair has given him a scuzzy, druggy look. Also: it’s hilarious that the Mail released this rigged survey just hours before People Magazine announced their Sexiest Man Alive.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.