It’s still remarkable that “royal experts” refuse to actually acknowledge Prince Harry’s Spare as a definitive account of his own life. Why read Harry’s own narrative of childhood neglect, trauma, grief and magical thinking when Ingrid Seward could royalsplain what “really” happened during Harry’s childhood. Seward is an old-school defender of King Charles, but even she has to admit that Charles was a pretty sh-tty father. Of course, Seward blames Diana and QEII for Charles’ terrible parenting. From this curiously timed piece in the Daily Mail:
Unlimited toys, the freedom to explore grand palaces, and having your every whim met by an army of servants sounds to many like the perfect childhood. But according to Prince Harry, his royal upbringing caused him to suffer from ‘generational trauma’. Not because he lacked any material possessions, but because his emotional needs were not met. The scars were so bad that he decided he would walk away from the only life he knew in 2020, vowing to raise his children differently – with more love and less Press intrusion.
However, not every royal expert shares Harry’s analysis of his upbringing. Ingrid Seward, who has spent 40 years following The Firm, claimed that Harry’s emotional problems were in fact caused because his father had been too soft on him.
She said: ‘Had Charles been firmer with Harry – and, to some extent, William – in their formative years, they might not have caused him so much worry.’
The editor of Majesty magazine claimed Charles was an ‘indulgent father’ who let Harry get away with too much. He moaned in his 2023 memoir: ‘I was the shadow, the support, the Plan B. I was brought into the world in case something happened to Willy. I was summoned to provide back-up, distraction, diversion and, if necessary, a spare part. Kidney, perhaps. Blood transfusion. Speck of bone marrow.’
But Seward, in her most recent book My Mother And I, has rejected Harry’s account, writing: ‘That is completely untrue, but it was how Harry chose to see himself, and he has allowed this perception to dominate his life – to the extent that he has now made a career out of it. Choosing to be seen as a victim, he has tried to wreak vengeance on his family and the Press for all the slights he believes he’s suffered. And much of his ire has been directed at his elder brother.’
Seward, 77, has spent decades covering The Firm and its highs and lows – from the War of the Waleses, to Toegate to Megxit and beyond. Like many journalists of her generation, she would often find herself invited to Kensington Palace for cosy chats with Princess Diana or to the ski slopes of Switzerland with Charles, William and Harry. She witnessed at close quarters ‘the boys’ grow into men, becoming one of the most qualified people to comment on what went so wrong in Harry’s upbringing.
Seward believes that due to the turbulent marriage, it was difficult for Charles to build a relationship with his sons. Diana often curtailed his time with them, and whenever he wanted to have them for the weekend she often thought of a last minute excuse to keep them with her. However, Charles hated conflict and seemed to be too timid and weak to properly confront his wife over her behaviour. Seward claims most of the Royal Family blamed him for the state of the marriage, thinking that if he had been firmer in the beginning, many of the later difficulties with Diana would have been avoided.
Like his mother and grandmother, Charles hated confrontation and wanted to turn away from the problem instead of dealing with it. But just like with Diana, it appears that Charles’ lack of courage in confronting his family’s behaviour also caused problems when it came to challenging unruly Harry. However looking back on Harry’s upbringing, Seward claims Charles ‘probably regrets’ that he wasn’t strict with Harry and William.
The thing about it is, if any of these people actually bothered to read Spare, they’d know that Harry gave his father a great deal of grace, even forgiving Charles’s neglect and bad-parenting and understanding that Charles did the best he could with what few tools he had. You can feel Harry’s love for his father throughout Spare, even when he grows up and learns to accept his dad’s clear limitations (if anything, it feels like Harry and Charles grew closer as Harry became an adult). Harry also accepts the fact that Charles has always and will always prioritize Camilla over his sons. Which is obviously a larger conversation, one which Seward doesn’t want to address. Anyway, I do agree that everyone should have been firmer with William though.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
