The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Christmas card was released a week ago and the British press still isn’t over it. They’re still going to be screaming about this card on Christmas Day, as they dream of Prince Harry sending family photos to King Charles and Charles “accidentally” revealing those photos. While most of the talk has been about the blurry, low-res photo of the back of Archie and Lili’s heads, did you know that there’s also been a lot of British discontent over the message of “We wish you a very happy holiday season and a joyful new year”? How dare the Sussexes show inclusivity about the holiday season!! This Telegraph column reads like satire, but I think columnist Michael Deacon meant all of this in earnest.
Quite rightly, the entire population of Britain has been rolling its collective eyes at the fact that Harry and Meghan’s official Christmas card doesn’t say “Happy Christmas”. Instead, it says: “Happy Holiday Season”. For pity’s sake. A prince, an actual English prince, referring to Christmas as “the holidays”.
The use of such a phrase isn’t just toe-curling, however. In my view, it also provides a revealing insight into the Sussexes’ marriage. Let’s face it: there are only two conceivable reasons why Harry would have allowed “Happy Holiday Season” to appear under his name. The first is that, after five years in Montecito, His Royal Highness has clean forgotten how to speak his father’s English, and now communicates exclusively in Californian. This is certainly plausible, given that, during recent public appearances, he’s been heard saying things like “you guys”, “awesome” and even “dude”.
I fear, however, that the more likely explanation is the second. Which is that Harry lives in such abject terror of his wife that he didn’t dare question, let alone overrule, her unambiguously American choice of festive message.
All right, so in most households the wife does tend to take charge of writing the Christmas cards (or rather, the husband leaves it to her). But when both husband and wife are so famous that their Christmas card design gets released to every media outlet on the planet, the husband has to take a bit more responsibility. In this case, therefore, Harry should surely have spoken up.
“Megs, darling, it’s an awesome design. Love all the photos of us tending hospital patients and hugging other people’s children. There’s just one tiny, tiny thing. We can’t possibly put ‘Happy Holiday Season’.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I’m British. And British people don’t say ‘holiday season’. We say ‘Christmas’.”
“But we’re in America. And in America, we say ‘holiday season’.”
“Oh, but please, Megs. I’m sure Americans sometimes use the word ‘Christmas’ too. Bing Crosby didn’t sing, ‘I’m dreaming of a white holiday season’, did he? Anyway, if we put ‘holiday season’, people will laugh at me. I mean, I’m a member of the Royal family.”
“Are you?”
“Gosh, that’s a point. I’m not really sure now. Better call Pa and check.”
So the “War on Christmas” bullsh-t has apparently come to the UK, via the royals. Some Americans – not all, but some – use “happy holidays” or “happy holiday season” because they have a diverse group of friends and associates, people who are Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, etc. Why say “merry Christmas” when you can choose to be more inclusive? The fact that multiple people in the British media are screaming about the Sussexes’ “woke” holiday card is both mind-numbing and hilarious to me. This was literally their holiday card from their BUSINESS!
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Archewell, Getty.
