Back in September when Lady Gaga was just beginning the Joker 2 promo tour (What tour? The world tour), she covered Vogue, and the profile was a hard launch for her and fiance Michael Polansky as a couple. Rumors had been floating ever since Gaga was spotted by the papa-paparazzi in April sporting a diamond ring on that finger. And then in the summer the couple were outed by the French Prime Minister at the Olympics when he posted a TikTok of Gaga introducing Polansky as her fiance. But the Vogue article was the first time Gaga and her man were speaking about their engagement, themselves. In that piece, the author described the rock in Gaga’s ring as “Wilma Flintstone-size,” and I was besotted. Reported to be eight carats, the diamond is apparently quite something in person. And on video, too, as it turns out. Gaga just appeared on a special Christmas edition of Carpool Karaoke (with Zane Lowe filling in for James Corden) and holy carats, Batman — the diamond looked huuuuuuge!! And I wasn’t the only one struck dumb with awe, gazing into the brilliance of all those facets:
Lady Gaga showed up on carpool Karaoke’s surprise holiday special to bless us with her first performance of “Christmas Tree” in 16 years, which, if you missed it, please fix immediately. While she was at it, Gaga flashed her engagement ring from Michael Polansky several times, and though this isn’t our first time seeing it, this is definitely our first time seeing it so up close and sparkly.
…Apparently they made it official in March — before Gaga’s 38th birthday. “The couple shared the happy news with family and close friends right away but wanted to keep the engagement private otherwise,” a source explained to People. “Everyone’s excited about them getting married.” They added that Michael is private but fully supports the public nature of Gaga’s job, saying “He can’t stand being in the spotlight but lets her shine. He has his own business priorities that she’s supportive of.”
Meanwhile, an Entertainment Tonight insider said that Gaga and Michael are thinking of exchanging vows somewhere in Europe: “Gaga and Michael are the happiest they’ve ever been. Michael has always known Gaga was the one. They had an engagement party at her home in Malibu with their loved ones and everyone is thrilled for them. They are already thinking about wedding plans and talking about possibly having a destination wedding in Europe. They’d love to get married sooner than later and both want to start a family.”
Oy, Cosmo! The People Mag article they reference about the engagement happening before Gaga’s b-day in March is way outdated. People put that info/speculation out in July, right after the TikTok video, but in September Gaga told Graham Norton that the proposal came on April Fool’s Day, thus making her doubt the veracity of Michael’s intentions at the moment. Also, going back to that Vogue interview, Gaga talked about how she was expecting it on her birthday and was disappointed, but then only had to wait four days. (What? I’m not obsessed with Gaga’s every move… I just care about FACTS!)
But getting back to what really matters: that ginormous diamond ring! I know I’m a smart cookie. But I don’t care what high intellectual pursuit or nuanced conversation I’m engaged in, if someone waves a diamond in front of me I instantly turn into Marilyn Monroe’s character from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and am hypnotized by the stone. Without fail. There’s sorcery involved in those baubles, I swear. (Don’t tell One Million Moms!) And you know what, I don’t feel bad for being so easily possessed by them. Not ever since I saw Ang Lee’s 2007 film adaptation of Lust, Caution, where **spoiler alert!** a long-in-the-making assassination plot is bungled after the target gifts the spy a knockout diamond ring (I tried cueing it up, but just in case the scene starts at the 3:30 mark and the diamond is shown at 5:00). If even Ang Lee, master of cinematic sweeping romance, understands the profound impact of a diamond, then surely its magical powers are legit.
Wishing the happy couple a lifetime of happiness, and Gaga a lifetime of good physical therapy for the extra weight-lifting her left hand is doing.
Photos are screenshots from Apple TV’s A Carpool Karaoke Christmas and credit: Jeffrey Mayer/Avalon