King Charles spent this past weekend in Sandringham while his wife cavorted with her ex-husband at the races. Charles and Camilla will soon make their way up to Balmoral, or rather, Birkhall. Charles doesn’t care for Balmoral, so he allows the extended family to stay at the main house while he and Camilla are “cozy” in Birkhall, which is also a pretty grand property. I think they’re planning to spend some time at Castle of Mey too. The point is that while Charles is late in starting his summer holiday, he will be in the Balmoral area in August. As such, there’s already something big on the agenda: a family meeting-slash-state-of-the-union. You see, these dumbasses are still *surprised Pikachu* that Prince Harry hasn’t come crawling back to them, so even though it’s been four and a half years since the Sussexes skedaddled, the family needs to have a “summit” about What To Do About The Sussexes.
The upcoming Royal Family gathering at Balmoral Castle in mid-late August is set to be more than just a traditional summer get-together. Sources claim it will serve as a pivotal summit for the strategic planning of the monarchy’s next decade. Hosted by King Charles and Queen Camilla, this meeting comes at a time of significant transition and offers a unique opportunity for the Royal Family to chart a course for its future amid great difficulty.
The Firm is not only dealing with the ongoing ‘Sussex problem’ but also facing health challenges, with two senior figures announcing cancer diagnoses and Princess Anne suffering a head injury from a suspected horse kick. If the slimmed-down monarchy wasn’t thin on the ground, it most certainly is now.
One notable aspect of this year’s Balmoral gathering will be the absence of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from the main family celebrations. Their exclusion signifies a deliberate move by the monarchy to distance itself from the couple, who have been a source of controversy and media scrutiny since they stepped down as working royals in 2020. This decision could be seen as a reaffirmation of the Royal Family’s commitment to maintaining a united front and focusing on its key players who are dedicated to royal duties and who respect the crown.
“Their exclusion signifies a deliberate move by the monarchy to distance itself from the couple…” I am announcing to the world that I am excluding Clive Owen from my panties, you guys. I am stating this loud and proud: I want to distance myself from Clive Owen, and it’s been four and a half years since I’ve even been in the same country as Clive Owen, but he needs to know that I am the one keeping my distance from him. That’s what this whole royal summit sounds like. Obviously, I know Clive is never coming back to me, but I’m not about to call a summit about it and announce to the world that I’m snubbing HIM. Like, are the Windsors really this pathetic? I guess they are. They’re still holding summits to discuss What Do We Do About The Sussexes. My god.
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