Joe Alwyn is only 33 years old but he has some old-ass eyes. Whenever I see a closely cropped photo of his face, I’m always surprised by how exhausted his eyes look. Anyway, Joe covers the most recent issue of the Sunday Times’s Style Magazine. He’s promoting Kinds of Kindness, his second time working with director Yorgos Lanthimos after his turn in The Favourite. Joe has always given interviews to promote his films, but he very rarely answers personal questions. That was true for the years he dated Taylor Swift, circa 2016-2023. But Kinds of Kindness is his first big promotion since he and Taylor split last year. This interview is the first time he’s really talked about any of it. I find myself admiring his reserve – if I had excited a relationship with the Queen Snake and she had devoted an album to the guy who came after me, I’m sure I would want to settle some scores. Joe is not into score-settling, although the fact that he’s even trying to address *some* of what’s happened is remarkable. Some highlights from the Times:
Whether he’s listened to The Tortured Poets Department: “In thinking on what I was going to say, I would think and hope that anyone and everyone can empathise … This isn’t a direct answer to your question, but just thinking about what I want to talk about …I would hope that anyone and everyone can empathise and understand the difficulties that come with the end of a long, loving, fully committed relationship of over six and a half years. That is a hard thing to navigate. What is unusual and abnormal in this situation is that, one week later, it’s suddenly in the public domain and the outside world is able to weigh in.”
What is known vs. what is said: “So you have something very real suddenly thrown into a very unreal space: tabloids, social media, press, where it is then dissected, speculated on, pulled out of shape beyond recognition. And the truth is, to that last point, there is always going to be a gap between what is known and what is said. I have made my peace with that.”
He’s not into commodifying the relationship: “As everyone knows, we together — both of us, mutually — decided to keep the more private details of our relationship private. It was never something to commodify and I see no reason to change that now. And, look, this is also a little over a year ago now and I feel fortunate to be in a really great place in my life, professionally and personally. I feel really good.” Later I point out that, arguably, the reason to change tack is because Swift — who has 283 million Instagram followers — has released an album where some songs seemingly relate to their relationship unravelling. “Well, as I said, there’s always going to be a gap between what’s known and what’s said.”
He won’t discuss whether he’s still in touch with his ex or whether he is dating again: “I’m sure you can appreciate, given the level of noise and scrutiny about my past relationship, why I wouldn’t want to just open the door to things like that right now.”
He’s trying to ignore the Swifties: “I have brilliant, authentic people in my life. I try and live in reality and away from the kind of online noise of Twitter — or wherever else it comes from — and try and just stay in the moment.” He laughs off the idea that he’d have to go out in disguise, but clearly avoids the Swift-related conspiracy nuttiness and trolling. “I try and dial that volume down. I was obviously made aware of it and think that mistreating anyone, whether it’s in person or behind the anonymity of a keyboard, is shameful.”
Taylor’s namecheck of the Black Dog pub in Vauxhall: Capitalising on this association, the pub has recently released merchandise: £50 hoodies, naff caps, tees and travel mugs. “I’ve never been to Vauxhall,” says Alwyn, smiling a smile that hints that there is more to say.
“There is always going to be a gap between what is known and what is said” – while I think he mostly means the outside world dissecting and discussing his relationship with Swift, I also think he’s referencing Taylor herself and how she writes and sings about her relationships. He seems confident that no matter what, he’s not going to get the full “Taylor’s Ex” treatment. What’s amazing is that he’s right – it’s been more than a year and he’s mostly weathered the storm with little to no repercussions. The Swifties have tried to throw accusations at him – he cheated, he refused to marry her, he strung her along – but Joe just stayed placid and quiet. And that shows how well he knows Taylor too – maybe he didn’t know exactly how it would happen, but he knew Taylor would make an ass out of herself and the heat would be off of him at some point. Matt Healy was like instant karma.
His comment about the very online Swifties is interesting too – “I was obviously made aware of it and think that mistreating anyone, whether it’s in person or behind the anonymity of a keyboard, is shameful.” Funny, Taylor has never said anything like that about her own fans.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover courtesy of The Times.