Unsurprisingly, the events-planning around the semiquincentennial this year is chaotic and stupid. I mean, it’s not like everyone knew that the Four of July was coming up and that Americans wanted to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. The Trump administration acts as if this date snuck up on them. Last week, the White House announced a “Freedom 250” concert featuring such acts as Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, Bret Michaels, Martina McBride and C+C Music Factory. Within 48 hours of that announcement, almost all of those music acts pulled out. Trump was raging about it all weekend, alongside several ridiculous tantrums about his pitiful ballroom. Trump suggested that HE could replace all of the musical acts:
As America gets ready to celebrate its 250th on the Fourth of July, Donald Trump’s Freedom 250 concert series—dubbed “Great American State Fair” on Washington, D.C.’s National Mall is falling apart. Luckily, Trump is here to rescue it.
After five of the originally-announced artists dropped out, Trump has kindly offered to step in. In a lengthy rant on Truth Social on Saturday, the president wrote, “I understand Artists are getting ‘the yips’ having to do with their performance on Wednesday, so I am thinking about bringing the Number One Attraction anywhere in the World, the man who gets much larger audiences than Elvis in his prime, and he does so without a guitar, the man who loves our Country more than anyone else, and the man who some say is the Greatest President in History (THE GOAT!), DONALD J. TRUMP, to take the place of these highly paid, Third Rate ‘Artists,’ and give a major speech, rallying the Country forward like I have done ever since being President!”
He continued, “Two years ago, the United States was DEAD. Now we have the ‘HOTTEST’ Country anywhere in the World. I don’t want so-called ‘Artists’ that get paid far too much money, who aren’t happy. I only want to be surrounded by Happy People, Smart People, Successful People, and People that know how to WIN. So, by copy of this TRUTH, I am ordering my Representatives to look at the feasibility of doing an AMERICA IS BACK Rally on Wednesday, Washington, D.C., same time, same location. Only Great Patriots invited — It will be a Wild and Beautiful Celebration of America!”
Trump also threw a pity party for himself, saying that the concert should be canceled, just like the Kennedy Center has now been canceled after a judge ordered the administration to remove Trump’s name from the center.
Additionally, you know that god-awful UFC ring being constructed at the White House? Well, Trump plans to host a Fourth of July UFC fight there, and the White House said that servicemen will only get free tickets to the fight if they meet a “weight standard.” A standard that Trump’s dinosaur butt would not meet.
This is what Trump’s done to the people’s house:
A third of it is rubble.
Another third is a cage match.
What a metaphor. pic.twitter.com/0JKCj5prXF
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) May 29, 2026
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
