This week has been so amazing because of the rise of Vice President Kamala Harris and the fall of the Trump/Vance ticket. I maintain that the Trump team did next to no vetting on JD Vance before selecting him as Donald Trump’s running mate. Let’s keep it real – it was always going to be difficult to find a Republican willing to do it, especially given that Trump tried to get his cult members to hang his last vice president. JD Vance is just the kind of soulless weirdo who would agree to it, and he came with all of that financial backing from Peter Thiel.
Well, one week after the Republican National Convention and buyer’s remorse has set in bigly. Vance is terrible and awkward on the campaign trail. He has a long history of saying completely awful sh-t, like his mockery of “childless cat ladies.” Axios has a story where unnamed Republicans are bemoaning Trump’s choice and wondering why the hell he didn’t choose Glenn Youngkin (loser), Nikki Haley (lol), Marco Rubio (hahaha) or North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum (WHO?). These Republicans acknowledge that Vance “doesn’t add much” to the ticket. Other Republicans – even current MAGA people – are acknowledging that Vance was a completely sh-tty choice. Rumors abound that Trump wants to find a way to dump Vance from the ticket but I don’t think he would be able to do it?
Meanwhile, Vance is quickly becoming something of a Sarah Palin-esque figure of mockery. Earlier this week, someone completely made up a story that Vance had sex with a couch and that Vance originally wrote about that couch-sex in Hillbilly Elegy, only for the story to be edited out. None of it was true, but the Associated Press ran a story saying “JD Vance never had sex with a couch” which the AP THEN DELETED because while the story was made up, they could not definitively say that JD Vance has never f–ked a couch. So… that’s why there have been so many couch jokes this week.
Well folks, it’s seems Trump picking Vance has been going great sofa…
— Dark Brandon (@VoteDarkBrandon) July 26, 2024
I don’t know if I’ve seen an unfunny JD Vance couch joke on here yet. It’s just banger after banger after banger, much like JD Vance after closing time at Ashley Furniture.
— Mike (@85mf) July 25, 2024
JD Vance upsetting his wife on purpose so he has to sleep on the couch
— Matthew (@fattmellows) July 25, 2024
I like how JD Vance’s media team now has to ensure he never does an interview sitting on a couch.
— Ben Panko (@btpanko) July 25, 2024
DO NOT show this couch to JD Vance pic.twitter.com/fhlyYTOArY
— worm buxx (@kayteterry) July 25, 2024
Just met J.D. Vance’s high school girlfriend pic.twitter.com/yfluKUlQeS
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 24, 2024
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.