DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has never taken my acting career seriously, and it’s starting to wear on me.
I’ve been dedicated to acting for 15 years, performing in multiple plays and constantly working to improve my craft. However, I’ve never landed a leading role, and because of that, my family sees my passion as more of a hobby than a real career path.
No matter how hard I work or how much time I invest in auditions, rehearsals and performances, they always make dismissive comments like, “When are you going to get a real job?” or “Maybe acting just isn’t for you.”
It’s frustrating because I know success in the industry takes time and persistence, but their lack of support makes me feel like I’m not good enough.
I love acting, and I don’t want to give up just to please them, but I also don’t know how to handle their constant judgment and negativity.
How do I get them to respect my passion and take my career seriously? If they never do, how do I learn to be OK with that?
— Born Actor
DEAR BORN ACTOR: Some people fuel their passions based on their family members’ lack of support. They may prefer to have supportive family members and loved ones, but when they do not, they figure out ways to allow the naysayers to drive them to greater success.
Is that ideal? No. But you cannot control other people. All you can control is yourself.
Rather than continuing to try to convince them that they should value your life choices, pivot and direct your attention to pursuing your dream. Stop telling them about your journey, which creates opportunities for them to make comments. Just live your life.
The exception might be if you find yourself needing their financial support in order to continue on your path. Then it gets tricky. You can work that out, too. Find a part-time job that helps to pay the bills. You need to be independent from them in order to comfortably stand your ground.
DEAR HARRIETTE: As a person who always prioritizes work, everything else happens only “if I have time” … so generally nothing happens for me other than work.
I always make time to do more work, so I neglect things like my health, exercise, friendships, errands, sleep and more.
How can I encourage more balance in my routine? Even if not balance, where can I squeeze in time for at least some exercise?
— Workaholic
DEAR WORKAHOLIC: Start making a daily list of everything you need to do for your life. Include work responsibilities, of course, but also write down the other categories, such as health, friends, family and rest.
Check off each box as you complete tasks. Notice which ones regularly get overlooked. Commit to recasting your net so that you fit in the other life essentials.
Over time, you can change your behavior patterns if you pay attention to how you are spending your time and reprioritize what is important to you. It takes time, though, so give yourself grace in the process.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.