It doesn’t take being shot by Cupid’s arrow to know that “love boats” and Princess Cruises go together like surf and turf. But this doesn’t mean the premium-class cruise line has a monopoly on all things cherished and adored.
From Viking to Virgin, Carnival to Cunard and Silversea to Seabourn, every cruise line has the potential to provide passengers with plenty to love on their boats. Of course, how much love depends on factors within and out of the control of both the guest and ship. Crew and passenger behavior, breadth of activities, weather, operations — these are just some of the things that can taint love when on an ocean or river cruise.
Having taken 70 cruises on all seven continents with 25 different cruise lines, this sea-legged travel writer has too many sails under his buffet-challenged belt not to run into some thorns among the dozens of red roses. Fortunately, the vast majority of these working holidays have hinted more of Valentine’s Day than Halloween with tons more treats than tricks.
Looking at the calendar, this timely mention of Cupid’s big day is a sweet and shameless segue to answering the below question inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, poet of “Sabbath Morning at Sea,” which, appropriately, takes place on a ship.
How do I love cruising? Let me count the ways.
1. Go all-inclusive: With cruising, it’s one price for transportation, lodging, food, entertainment, activities, housekeeping, socialization, recreation and a boatload more. Heck, even alcohol is included if attending the champagne art auction. Resist the urge to get a facial, play the slots, book a tour or other things that aren’t prepaid, and take delight in a folio delivered to your app or cabin that has few, if any extra charges.
2. See more places: Stay at a land-based resort, especially the all-inclusive kind, and you’ll likely stick to that one area the entire time. With few exceptions, a cruise vacation gets you the best of both worlds: a resort that floats and an easy way to galivant the globe or at least a corner of it. A 10-night itinerary in the Caribbean can take you to seven or eight islands, and just as many countries on a Baltic or Mediterranean cruise of the same duration. River cruises don’t tend to conquer many nations, but they do dock at least once a day and usually right there in town.
3. Sample the world: Cruising is like speed dating between the visitor and destination: so many places to see in so short a time. While these dates may last for but a few hours, those smitten with a port and its surroundings may want a second and longer time together without a ship acting like a timekeeping chaperone.
4. Unpack just once: Marvelous as the invention of wheeled suitcases is, it still doesn’t unburden hotel-shuffling holiday makers from repeated packing and unpacking. On a cruise, that job is a one-and-done. Make it a none-and-done if booking a cruise that comes with a butler who can unburden you from those tasks.
5. Grab the fork and knife: The quality of cuisine and variety of vittles depend on such factors as the ship, cruise line and cabin category. While elevated galley grub is usually found at onboard specialty restaurants that often charge a fee, even on value-priced Carnival, MSC, Norwegian and Royal Caribbean, a festival of fine fare that’s part of the fare is easily found in the main dining room and other “free” eateries. There’s no nickel-and-diming, either, with most ultra-luxury lines. Crystal, for one, features Umi Uma, the only restaurants at sea by master chef Nobu Matsuhisa, an experience that can cost hundreds on land.
6. Treat yourself: Unloved as some upcharges are on a cruise vacation, occasions arise when you just gotta splurge. A spa treatment is always nice, but let’s talk more about food. Specialty dining is often a tasteful way to go hog wild, especially if that hog sacrificed itself to become candied bacon served at Pinnacle Grille steakhouse on Holland America ships. That side dish, along with the caramel-butterscotch cheesecake served at Norwegian’s steakhouse concept, Cagney’s, and the animated Le Petit Chef experience on Celebrity sails, are among reasons to put your money where your mouth is.
7. Get mommy and daddy time: Nearly every ocean ship has at least one kids’ club, and the larger ones separate children by age group. Carnival, for example, has Club 02 (15-17), Circle “C” (12-14), Sharks (9-11), Stingrays (6-8), Penguins (2-5) and Turtles (6 months-2 years). Even better, these programs are included, though after-hours babysitting and premium activities can cost extra.
8. Take in the views: It’s surprising that more passengers don’t gasp for air because views on a cruise are almost always breathtaking. Unforgettable is when my wife drew the curtains of our veranda suite on the first morning of an Alaskan cruise in 2004. Gazing out onto Prince William Sound with its stunning scenery had this narrow-minded city-and-car guy bitten by the cruise bug. It really was love at first sight.
9. Find your inner child: Whether it’s going down a waterslide on the ship or swimming with dolphins on a shore excursion, adults will find it easy to feel like a kid again on a cruise vacation. And it doesn’t take being in warm weather, either. Trust the man who recaptured his youth at the age of 58 by taking the polar plunge in the frigid 30-degree waters of Antarctica. Not since accidentally stepping on a grasshopper barefoot when 4 years old have I screamed that high.
10. Make new friends — or don’t: Whether sailing with nine others, as on a barge cruise with French Country Waterways, or 7,000 aboard an at-capacity Icon of the Seas of Royal Caribbean, there’s bound to be fellow passengers you gel with. Striking up friendships that last through debarkation and longer is very common on cruises. And for the shy or introverted, the amount of socialization is always within one’s control. Prefer dining alone? Any maitre d’ worth his or her sea salt will not only accommodate, but remember that a table for one is the default through your farewell meal.
11. Be thoroughly entertained: From solo musicians playing background music in the lobby bar to Broadway-type shows on the main stage, entertainment is pretty close to omnipresent from bow to stern. The larger the ship, the greater the overall program, naturally, but even small vessels will have someone tuneful onboard. On a superyacht, that could be a singing cruise director, and on a megaship, we’re talking grand productions such as “Dirty Dancing in Concert,” a live-to-film concert experience debuting in April on MSC’s new flagship, the 6,762-capacity World America, out of Miami.
12. Make memories: If traveling is indeed the spice of life, then going by cruise ship could very well be the most flavorful method. And you don’t need to buy a value pack of 8x10s or constantly whip out your smartphone to capture fond memories of your ocean or river adventure — though it helps. It’s about moments. It’s about taking in a romantic sunset over the ocean, catching 40 winks or some rays poolside, or looking forward to lobster night. It’s about checking a box on your personal bucket list. It’s about sharing an experience or finally getting much-needed me time. It’s about toasting to the best vacation ever.
Saccharine-sweet as that may sound, lest we forget that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. And lest we forget that like cruise ships, love comes in many shapes and forms.