DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend from college works in Europe now and asked to stay with me for 10 days when he was here visiting.
I made sure he had fresh towels.
His first day here, he flooded my bathroom floor while taking a shower (he said he “forgot how shower curtains work”) and called for help. I quickly grabbed a towel and threw it down to wipe up the water before it seeped onto the hardwood outside the room. I immediately put the towel into the washing machine.
He was appalled, and said I should have grabbed a mop instead of putting a towel on the floor.
It’s not like it’s a bus station bathroom — I don’t have kids or pets, I don’t wear shoes in the house and the floor is always clean.
After that, he said he couldn’t trust my towels. He went out and bought his own towel to use and kept it with his things until he left. I offered to wash it so he wasn’t using the same towel for days, but he refused.
Am I really that disgusting?
GENTLE READER: Why are you accepting criticism from someone who cannot figure out a shower curtain? And who made the mess in question in the first place?
Regardless of your towel hygiene, Miss Manners finds this person’s attitude appalling. To chastise you for attending to his mistake and then act as though your laundry were now tainted is rude and hypocritical. He is the one who should be apologizing, not you.
That said, Miss Manners’ personal preference would be to use a mop or non-guest towels to clean the floor. But as a guest in your house, she would never have said it.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My oldest child is about to turn 4, and we plan to invite other children to celebrate.
We live in a very small town where the custom seems to be to invite the entire preschool (around 20 kids).
After talking with another preschool mom, my husband and I have decided to rent an event space to host the party. This will allow us to invite all of the kids without worrying about having room.
Because of the extra space, I would like to indicate on the invitations that parents may bring their older and younger children if they wish.
We would also like at least one adult from each family to plan to stay at the party. This is important for us because we do not know most of these children or their parents.
I do not wish to be rude and am struggling with the wording for the invitations. Is this too blunt? “Older and younger children are welcome, and we invite parents to stay. Please let us know how many plan to attend.”
GENTLE READER: Perhaps “Siblings and parents welcome” is a little more succinct, but asking how many will attend is fine.
Miss Manners will warn you, however, that blunt does not always yield a response. And that you may well have opened the floodgates for guests to bring anyone they want — now and for the life of your children’s birthday parties.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.