It’s finally here! This week Cher released Cher: The Memoir, Part One (a title I still maintain is woefully boring for such a dynamic, groovy woman). Why has Cher split her memoir into two parts? Well, as she told the New York Times, because she’s had “too much life.” Also, Cher and her editor found that a natural divide happened in her story so that Part One focuses on Cher-the-singer, while Part Two begins with her relaunching herself as Cher-the-actor. So obviously, a significant portion in the newly-released Part One is about Cher’s relationship with her first husband and singing partner, Sonny Bono. While Sonny offered an escape from her unstable upbringing, as their fame exploded, the marriage became another untenable living situation for Cher. Success made Sonny controlling, to the extent where he legally set up Cher as an employee under a business entity he named “Cher Enterprises.” He also took all of her money, and if Cher could turn back time, she’d like to ask him why on earth he did that.
“He took all my money,” Cher said in an interview with The New York Times, which was published on Sunday, ahead of the debut for the first volume of her two-part book, “Cher: The Memoir.” “I just thought, We’re husband and wife. Half the things are his, half the things are mine. It didn’t occur to me that there was another way.”
Cher and Bono are best known as the pop duo and television variety team Sonny & Cher. But behind closed doors, Cher says Bono was like a “parent” who at one point took advantage of her financially. The two met when Cher was 16 and Bono was 27, a relationship she wouldn’t label as a “#MeToo moment” because she “lied” to him about her age.
In an effort to avoid living with her mother at the time, she took up rooming with Bono in exchange for cleaning and cooking services. However, a couple years later, they married in 1964 and had children. And as the couple grew into their stardom, Cher says Sonny became emotionally abusive and developed a “my way or the highway” mentality, stating Bono set their business up so that Cher was his employee.
“To this day,” Cher added, “I wish to God I could just ask, ‘Son, at what point, during what day, did you go, ‘Yeah, you know what? I’m going to take her money.’”
The pair got a divorce in 1975, and Bono died in a skiing accident in 1998.
“I woke up one morning — early, like 5 — and I just thought, I’m not going to do this anymore. I’m going to leave him,” Cher explained, adding that she told Bono that she wanted to pursue an intimate relationship with the group’s guitarist, and eventually did. “I started to put into place a plan that was so dangerous that I don’t know how I had the nerve to do it.”
It wasn’t until her relationship with film producer David Geffen that she became financially literate.
“I didn’t know how to make a check out. I didn’t have a banking account,” Cher said. Nevertheless, Cher went on to become a household name separate from the one she married into, carving out her own lane in the industry.
For shame, Sonny. Seizing control of a partner’s (or anyone’s) finances so they’re completely dependent on you is classic abusive behavior. Cher is a fierce mama for finding her way out and believing in life after love. She knew that she’d get through it, cause she knew that she was strong, and she didn’t need him anymore. She didn’t need Sonny anymore. And to be fair to her about her lack of banking and check writing expertise, Cher and Sonny divorced in 1975. That was only one year after the Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed that allowed women to open bank accounts on their own. 50 years later and I still think we don’t educate teens enough about basic financing, but I digress…
The NY Times article is an interesting read, with some fabulous throwaway lines, like this one about her boyfriend Alexander Edwards: “These days, Cher enjoys her time with Edwards, whom she met two years ago after she complimented his diamond-studded teeth.” It’s almost as good as the time Cher said, “I don’t know what happened, but we’re together.” Almost. Anyway, get your copy of Cher: The Memoir, Part One today. And as if that weren’t enough, Cher told Jimmy Fallon that she’s working on a new album!
Photos credit: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon, Starstock/Photoshot Photo/Avalon, Earl Miller/Jeffery Mayer/Avalon