True story: the subway in my neighborhood is actually above ground, so I was hustling my ass up the stairs the other day when I tripped, fell, and spilled my Dunkin’ iced coffee all over myself. I was more upset about the loss of coffee than any damage done to my clothes or person. And I’m fairly certain it was my footwear that instigated the tumble; I was wearing a pair of Crocs-esque kicks I got from Amazon. They squeak on the floor at my office so I sound like a duck quacking with each step but are soooo comfy that I cannot be bothered to care. This was my first time tripping in them, but apparently there’s an epidemic of Crocs taking people down! Seriously, it’s happening so much that schools are starting to ban Crocs entirely in their dress codes as safety hazards. But… but… what happens to all the Jibbitz charms?
An increasing number of schools are banning Crocs — the comfy, bulky slip-on shoes — over alleged “safety” concerns, claiming children keep tripping over their own feet and getting injured.
The beloved shoes — incredibly popular among adolescents and often decorated with charms, called Jibbitz — are banned in some schools in at least 12 states, Bloomberg reports.
Georgia’s Lake City Elementary School specifically mentions the shoes in its dress code, saying, “All students must wear closed toe shoes for safety (No Crocs).”
Jonesboro High School in Georgia enacted a ban last year, adding a disciplinary charge of in-school suspension for any student caught violating the dress code by wearing Crocs, 11 Alive reported.
And in Florida, LaBelle Middle School’s dress code says, “Safe footwear shall be worn at all times. No open toe shoes, bedroom slippers or shower shoes. All shoes must have a strap or back at the heel. Proper lace up athletic shoes must be worn during P.E.) NO CROCS allowed.”
“Whenever someone mentions a foot injury, the first thing everyone says is, ‘I bet you they were wearing Crocs,’” LaBelle school nurse Oswaldo Luciano told Bloomberg, referring to his group chats with other nurses.
Stumbling in Crocs is so common that it sparked a viral TikTok meme, where kids shared videos of themselves putting on their Crocs — and then promptly (although purposely) tripping over their feet.
Crocs even acknowledged the meme, commenting “Only the cool kids get it ” on one of the videos.
And while kids love the ease and comfort of the shoes and the ability to personalize them, a podiatrist told NPR that they’re not ideal for all-day wear.
“I’ve seen more structural issues like heel pain, arch pain, sometimes more hammertoes, because you have to grip the shoe to keep them on and so the toes are overworking,” said Priya Parthasarathy, a podiatrist in Silver Spring, Md., and a spokesperson for the American Podiatric Medical Association.
But, she added, “Crocs are a godsend when you’re trying to get out of the house, because my 3-year-old can put them on independently.”
A spokesperson for Crocs gave PEOPLE the following statement:
“The Crocs Classic Clog is a comfortable, casual shoe that is appropriate for everyday wear but not intended for athletics or more strenuous activities. We are unaware of any substantiated health and/or safety complications with wearing our products. Since our brand inception, students have and continue to wear our Classic Clog in their day-to-day activity, whether for pre- or post-sport, as part of a school club or simply as a means of showcasing their personality. For many, our shoes create community and allow for personal self-expression — both of which are factors we know are meaningful for students. Banning them feels unnecessary.”
What? Crocs Corporate isn’t worried, as evidenced by their 102-word response to People Mag. They’re fine! And I’m sure a fleet of lobbyists aren’t being organized and deployed as we speak to combat the bans. That would be silly. Naw, you know I’m just teasing the $6.19 billion company. They don’t need lobbyists to kick up a fuss on their behalf — the school children of America will do that for free! Our own Rosie has testified that the Jibbitz alone are essential “currency for playground trading,” so trying to curb Crocs will disrupt multiple economies. Plus it’s downright un-American to tell citizens what they can and cannot wear! So I say this to the school boards of our country: I stand with our kids in demanding our right to wear comfy yet potentially unsturdy plastic shoes that will probably cause us to face-plant at least once. It’s called FREEDOM. And if/when we eventually fall in the tricky footwear, children can then learn the American tradition of asking our public institutions why they didn’t have protections in place to keep us from injury in the first place, thus completing the cycle. Ok, civics class dismissed.
Also, please wear your Crocs responsibly.
Note by Celebitchy: this story was written before the election was called