DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at an electronics company where, during a lunch break, one of my co-workers mentioned plans to leave for a better-paying job at another company.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: I don’t want to invite her, but I know she’ll find out
Harriette Cole: My competition for the job is a pretty teen. Should I report her?
Harriette Cole: Our mom isn’t coming home to take care of the kids
Harriette Cole: Oh, your boat dock? Yeah, our kid broke that.
Harriette Cole: How to be a mother who abides and inspires
I suspect that the co-worker is trying to influence others to leave as well.
I feel conflicted about what to do. On one hand, I feel that management should know if there’s a potential risk of employees leaving. On the other hand, I worry about interfering in my co-workers’ decisions and potentially damaging trust.
I’m unsure if reporting the conversation is the right move. Should I tell my manager or mind my own business?
— Divided Loyalties
DEAR DIVIDED LOYALTIES: At the moment, it sounds like what you were listening to was employees batting about a few ideas — nothing elevated enough to report to management. It is not your place to share what is basically gossip.
If you get any indication that your co-workers are moving toward a group exodus, you can mention that discreetly. One employee leaving is part of the normal course of business, and grumbling with co-workers about the job is extremely common. Stay out of the fray as you continue to listen.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a baby three months ago, and now it’s time for me to go back to work. The thought of being away from my child is filling me with dread.
I’ve used up all of my maternity leave and vacation time, so staying home longer isn’t an option through work. I love my career, but the idea of leaving my baby in someone else’s care feels overwhelming.
I’ve been considering talking to my husband about quitting my job so I can stay home full-time and take care of our child.
My husband makes enough to provide for the family, but it may be tight at times if we drop down to one income. I’m torn between wanting to be present for my baby and the fear of what this will mean for our financial stability and my career down the line.
How can I approach this conversation with my husband, and how do I make the best decision for both my family and myself?
I want to be sure I’m not acting purely on emotion, but it’s so hard to think logically when I feel this strong pull to stay home with my baby.
— Baby Love
DEAR BABY LOVE: Maternal instinct is real and can be incredibly powerful. Do not ignore it.
Talk to your husband about your feelings and concerns. Go over your budget, and discuss whether you can swing being home for a period of time and living on one income.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: Where should I draw the line on asking for money from my houseguests?
Dear Abby: He was disinherited and nobody acknowledges the injustice
Asking Eric: I’m a serious singer, and this woman might make me quit the choir
Dear Abby: On Christmas Eve, I just snapped. What is wrong with me?
Asking Eric: I saw his ex’s letters, and I don’t think he told her about me
If you make this decision, you can think of different windows of time for going back to work. Kindergarten typically begins at age 5, though pre-K can start as early as 3. When your child goes to school, you can investigate extended care after school, which could allow you to work, perhaps not in your current field, but in something with more flexible hours.
Many mothers take off extended periods when their children are young. It can be a struggle to jump back into the workforce, but if you make a strategy now, it can help you down the line. Being open to other types of employment is key to expanding your options.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.