DEAR READERS: I am claiming this space to celebrate my mother — and, in turn, all mothers in our lives.
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Today, my mother turns 95 years old. When I spoke to her a few days before her birthday, she said, “Well, this is not as far as my mother.” Her mother, Carrie Elizabeth Alsup Freeland, a woman who stood a strong 4-foot-9, lived powerfully until she was 101 years old, and she rarely had a sick day in her life.
My mother, Doris Irene Freeland Cole, has struggled a bit in recent years — this year in particular — yet still she reigns.
I often talk about my mother during speaking engagements, on broadcasts, in one-on-one coaching sessions and in this column. Why? Because she has taught and continues to teach me how to be the best person I can be in any situation.
She teaches on a need-to-know basis. What does that mean? She shares what someone needs to know based on what the moment requires. She doesn’t share gratuitously. She doesn’t brag. She doesn’t meander. She incisively and lovingly teaches in a way that is specific to the moment. She is uplifting — always.
Recently, my mother had a health emergency and was hospitalized. I had the privilege of being in the room with her for much of the week she was there. I watched her agonize in pain but always thank each individual — the doctor, nurse, physician’s assistant, tech, food deliverer, room cleaner and transport person — for coming into the room to care for her. My older sister Susan called it “teaching us how to be gracious in our elder years.” Indeed.
At every turn, Doris Cole has led with light. She told me once, when I was feeling low thanks to so-called friends treating me poorly, “Notice the bright lights in the room.” She explained that we always have a choice as to where we focus our attention. Why stay miserable and stuck by focusing on people who are cruel or dismissive? Pay attention to those who greet you with a smile, who offer love and support, who believe in you.
Upon being hospitalized, my mom worried that she hadn’t taught us enough about living in faith. I assured her that she had done a great job. She anchored us in her understanding of God, of how to treat people in all manner of circumstances and of how to balance effort with God’s grace.
As she worried, I reminded her of my sister Stephanie, our anchor. She lives near my mother and has always been her rock — our family’s rock — even as she has built an incredible career while rearing three beautiful children. Stephanie always has a hand outstretched to serve those in need. She ensures that others thrive when they may have felt despair.
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I could go on and on. My point is that I am blessed to have a mother who nurtures her family, as well as all who cross her path, with the tools and the vision to be loving, strong, kind and beautiful. On that note, Doris must have on her red lipstick and earrings to be ready for her day!
As I honor my mother on her 95th turn around the sun, I invite you to think of the matriarchs who have loved and supported you and who inspire you to be your best self. Invoke them now!
Feel free to share stories about them with me. I will, in turn, share a few with all of you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.